America celebrates Independence Day with debt slavery and fascist military rule. Fantastic success of troop surge in Iraq. Many insignificant Iraqi civilians died in June. In the UK, rubbish fake terrorist attacks by not very good, rubbish, fake terrorists. Welcome to the fucking news. I'm fraught with danger. Here are tonight's top stories. We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the government, and that wherever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government. laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. On the fourth of July this year, the American people celebrated their independence from the monarchy of Britain by failing to throw out a fascist evil corporate back Nazi government that no rules over them with an iron fist. As such, the American people are derelict in their duty according to their own declaration of independence, which clearly says that, whenever any form of government becomes destructive of the ends of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, the current fascist regime of America as a mirror of the injustice and tyranny of the monarchy, it freed itself from all those years ago with and I quote, a history of repeated injuries and usurpations. All having in direct object, the establishment of an absolute tyranny over the states. To prove this let facts be submitted to a candid world. Oh, yes, here comes some facts for the candidate world he George Bush has refused his assent. drools, the most wholesome and necessary for the public goods. Bush used his veto preventing withdrawal from Iraq a country that never attacked America never had weapons of mass destruction never had links to al Qaeda in fact, Sudan was kept in power by the American corporate government to fuck with Iran for the hostage taking back in the 70s. You remember that yellow ribbon round do though tree if you're gonna bomb me later, he has made judges dependent on his will alone for the tenure of their office and the amount and payment of their salaries. Well, the sacking of a dozen DBAs because they disagree with this power grabbing agenda, making politically friendly appointments to the Supreme Court and the World Bank. I'd say that's that one covered be George Bush has erected a multitude of new offices and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people and eat out their substance department of fatherland security I mean Homeland Security anyone he you know who I'm talking about as affected to render the military independent of and superior to the civil power? He is the Patriot Act or the military commission good enough for you for imposing taxes on us without consent. Come on, you know that that's true, you want some more, or depriving all of us in many cases of the benefit of trial by jury. Guantanamo Bay ringing any fucking bells for transporting us beyond cease to be tried for pretended offenses? rendition flights to concentration camps abroad? Sound familiar to anyone? Feel free to read the rest of your sacred historical text? The rest of the world cannot wait much longer for you to fuck over the evil fascist assholes who currently run your country, impeach them, vote them out, protest them into political death, whatever you're going to do do it soon before their finger hits the button. And we're all in the reeducation camps, learning how to love your dear leader and shop till we fucking die. In a totally related story, the imaginary surge of troops in Iraq is already showing signs of great success. Last month's figures for dead bodies found blowing in around the streets are more than 40% dying on the year before. Imagine that 40% Less dead bodies turning up in your roads and alleyways isn't that fantastic? In the month of June, only 540 insignificant dead Iraqi civilians were found lying in the streets some torture today. Others just shot in the head. Last year at the same time the figure was 1000. At this rate, next year, only 270 murdered and tortured dead Iraqis will be five blank In the streets, the year after onprem 35. No wonder the Iraqi people love America and Americans so much with such benefits from their occupation. If the troop surge stays in place by 2015 as few as 20 people a month will be tortured to death and dumped in the roads Nice. In the UK, the most inept rubbish terrorists ever to not have been brainwashed and mind control but the secret government of the world have all been arrested after they're poorly thought out and farcically executed attack went wrong. seven men and one woman were arrested after two failed car bombs were discovered in London, and one failed suicide attack was thwarted at Glasgow Airport. The end result of this eight person carousels four year infiltration of the UK was a 24 hour interruption to flights a classical airport. Suck the weather does that every January, they could have saved themselves a lot of trouble and funded a bomb hoax from Outer Mongolia. However, in reaction to these non lethal fake terror events, the British people are being extolled to greater and greater vigilance shortly they will surrender what remains of their liberty. billions more to the intelligence community of spy continuously on their neighbors live in fear die in debt. Love the Queen vote for right wing nutters laying it all on Pakistan petrol bomb masks support the occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan and surrender their firstborn to the priesthood. Then they'll go on to pay to have themselves in their cars chiptune tracks and submit to cocktails of vaccinations that make them sick, requiring them to pay vast sums of money to drug companies for a cure to a disease they gave up? Oh, yes. Because that's how we're going to win the war on terror by bombing the terrorist countries back to the dark ages and living in a 21st century slave prison under the surveillance of a police state. Oh yes, stuff man is thrusting in the direction of the problem of law. Yes. Thanks. And now the weather the planet safe in the hands of a few rich people. The shops are open. So what are you waiting for? The biggest mass extinction since the dinosaurs is none of your business. Have a nice weekend.


Transcribed by https://otter.ai