Unknown Speaker  00:00
To conspiracy to rule the world forted by rulers of the world say world rulers, fascist state of Israel needs a hero to slaughter the people of Gaza with style. In the UK, police said to spy on everyone just in case they're a bit naughty sometimes. Low market forces. Welcome to the fucking news. I'm laughing in your face. Here are the headlines tonight, a small group of internet researchers have saved the world from oppression and tyranny by uncovering a plot to overthrow the few wealthy banking families that rule over us with no trouble at all, and replace them with a different group of wealthy banking families that would have ruled over us all with no trouble at all. The conspiracy came to light during the meeting of past present and future American presidents at the White House last week. A sharp eyed online researcher noticed that Barack Obama was quite a tall man. After a little more research on some website somewhere he discovered that Barack Obama wasn't who he appeared to be. This plans to rescue the economy involved more debt for the US taxpayer. His plans for the war on terror involve more spending on the military, and he says change our locks. The unnamed researcher stayed up all night, reading things until the picture finally came together. Barack Obama had been replaced by an alien. He and his alien overlords plan to get everyone on earth into more debt with a small group of alien bankers who will then rule over us all with no trouble at all. Our present human oppressors would be paid off and forced to retire to Patagonia and our military would be powerless to stop them. Once their wages were paid by them. Anyone who oppose them would be called a conspiracy theorist and laughed at on mainstream media. Once in control of America, these evil beings planned to maintain economic slavery continue the exploitation of art for the profit of wealthy people and keep voodoo religious nutters killing each other as a distraction from real life on Earth. A spokesperson for our fascist murdering Secret Service's didn't make this imaginary statement. We can't name Brian and his friends from Nantucket for security reasons, but we and everyone on Earth owe our lives and freedom to them. If it were not for their courage and tenacity, our shadowy puppet masters could easily have been replaced with another bunch of evil overlords. We must all be vigilant to the growing danger from a small group of well organized banking families, especially ones from other planets who may try to fund our government and by our very wise, we have now replaced the replacement president with one funded by our own group of wealthy bankers, bankers, and carried out a purge of all powerful people on Earth, making sure only ones funded by our evil funders, rulers, bankers remain new laws making it a capital offense to start a bank or talk about influencing world demands will be created and all people on earth will be required to swear the following oath of allegiance to debt and slavery. I swear to do nothing about being a landless peasant fuck forever. I will submit to the rule of whoever is in charge of wherever I am born. As long as they are funded by a few wealthy bankers. I will eat the shit that is handed out to me and make the ship for others to eat so long as I live, I will always support rich people's rights to own the planet and destroy it for profit. No matter how crap this makes my life. I will believe whatever mumbo jumbo voodoo nonsense I am told to even if it contradicts the laws of physics, common sense and reason. Now you can all go home and the weight your do I mean further instructions. And a related story as the fascist state of Israel continues the slaughter of unarmed women and children in the concentration camp of Gaza. We here at the fucking news thought we would offer a little historical perspective to the bloodbath. You see throughout history, innocent men, women and children have been killed in large numbers by murdering armies of many nations. However, the presence of a hero figure can make a difference to how you are remembered. As Catherine the Great famously said, you can be a murderous tyrant and the world will remember you fondly but fuck one horse and your a horse fucker forever. As of today, the fascist state of Israel is just a horse fuckup their army has killed 700 or more in Gaza put me like a face or a personality to attribute the killing to so they appear simply a cold blooded murderous state. Napoleon Bonaparte breakfasted on 600 Dead people, Hitler sneezed and more than that died, Alexander the Great put the whole set teams of people to the sword or fun dangus can vote down hundreds of 1000s of victims stallin farted millions of dead dissidents mouths a tone counted his victims in the 10s of millions come on Israel there must be one among you who can bear the shame or face hard enough to say fuck you. We're gonna kill them all. Someone with a dash of custom, no morals upon plot someone with enough courage of conviction to say we can and we will murder who we want. God is on our side. History will remember me as a hero death the Palestinians blah blah blah No, I Well, a horse fucker you are then in the UK Big Brother. The Home Office will not allow the police to hack into people's personal computers without a warrant. But hacking is known as remote searching. And it allows police or MI five officers to examine the contents of all emails, web browsing habits and instant messaging. Not that they'll need this power because from March all internet service providers will by law have to keep information about all your email sent or received in the UK for a year. Your phone company and your bank already do this. Soon. No one in the country will have a private phone call or a private bank account or email. No one will send a private text or instant message and all of your internet use will be recorded and available to the state. Don't worry, though, because if you have nothing to hide, and you won't, you will have nothing to fear. Or will you? Let's not pretend for a second the state wouldn't use this information for other purposes than to safeguard your life. Or that everyone from the benefits department to the Anti Terrorist. I mean terrorist police won't crawl up your cyber bottom the first time you look a bit different. not dangerous. Just different. Don't like the council's refuse policy. Better Shut up. Don't like the new taxes better shut up. Don't like the war on terror. Shut the fuck up. In fact, just go shopping and have a coke go to work watch TV and shut the fuck up. Everybody be cool, be normal and behave like everybody else. No one be disciplined no one be outspoken or radical no one protest object or organize against the status quo or else we know who you are what you do what you say and what you think big brother isn't watching you. He crawled inside you and he's checking your mind for naughtiness. Boo naughtiness defined by the state for its protection, not yours. blanks and now the weather. Everything is fine and I love the Queen and her fascist henchmen and the bankers I love Israel and I fully support its slaughter defense of the land bit stole money God said it could have Have a nice weekend.


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