US TROOPS HARVEST HOPIUM IN AFGHANISTAN
Top quotes
“I'd like to fuck one for real Oh, by acquiring emergency stakes in major banks such as RBS, H boss and Lloyds taxpayers took over responsibility for their debts.”
“Isn't isn't that the same thing?”
“Wouldn't you like to slip into some quantitive easing darling?”
“If the bank assets fall in value by 5%, the taxpayer loses 100 billion the equivalent of running the NHS for a year if they fall in value by 25%.”
Transcript
Unknown Speaker 00:02 President Obama sends more US troops to Afghanistan to help with the opium harvest dad I mean security in the UK bank of England calls for Eva lubrication at printing money die mean quantitive easing revolution unnecessary say shadowy puppet masters a little unrest maybe but we can handle you it pelo powerless minions Welcome to the fucking news. I'm fomenting discontent. And here are the headlines tonight, President Dracul Burma has announced he's sending 17,000 extra troops to Afghanistan to help raise the price of heroin on the world market.
I mean, stamp out opium production in Afghanistan. Isn't isn't that the same thing? You suck is a victim of its own success with regard to heroin production in Afghanistan, the Taliban virtually eliminated and then after the US invaded opium production soared. Year after year, the price dropped across the world, and the gram of heroin can now be bought for as little as 25 pounds.
With the average price somewhere between 40 and 50 per gram in 1998, the average was 74. So if we want to pay off our collective bailout debt with drug money that will never do President Dracul Obama went on not to say drugs make a lot of money unless they're legal, and there are lots of them. So it's important to the global criminal overlords who spawn I am that we reduce supply, increased demand and enforce their legal I mean, illegal status as a cover for our drug operation.
In Afghanistan, let me tell you, it's all about the Taliban, and how they hate us and our way of life. Yes, they do. And we can't allow that. So we will kill them.
Oh, or make them love us by occupying their country and oppressing them and their wacky beliefs, which are so different from ours. God bless America, and the talking snake that caused us to live on earth. I know. We could leave them alone, tap their phone calls, monitor their activities like we do to you folks at home.
But I feel it would be much better use of your money to stay here and protect these important opium resources. I mean, eradicate over supply on behalf of the shadowy puppet masters, whose checks got me elected in the UK trillions of new debt for the British people as bank bailouts take national debt to 2 trillion or 150% of GDP. This barely causes a stir amongst the poodles. See, they're such nice people, but it won't be enough and the Bank of England knows it, which is why it called for quantitative easing. sounds really nice.
Wouldn't you like to slip into some quantitive easing darling? Hmm, I bet it tastes or smells great. Give your man quantitive easing if you love him, but what does it really mean? The bank says it might be helpful to increase the supply of money since putting every resident of Britain into debt when you print a pound doesn't seem to bother anyone.
So let's make as much as we like hoorah. Fetch me a peasant girl. I'd like to fuck one for real Oh, by acquiring emergency stakes in major banks such as RBS, H boss and Lloyds taxpayers took over responsibility for their debts. Oh convenient for those who knew how big a debt that really is.
If the assets of our state owned banks fall in value by just 1%, it will wipe 20 billion off their value, costing the taxpayer 20 billion. If the bank assets fall in value by 5%, the taxpayer loses 100 billion the equivalent of running the NHS for a year if they fall in value by 25%. Could that happen the taxpayer loses 500 billion and the UK will be bankrupt collection of slaves indebted and controlled by whichever hovering banking dynasty picks up the tab.
In a totally related story. The Monopoly money economic crisis the Walt Disney War on Terror The fascist erosion of civil liberties rich to richer poverty adjustment devalued imaginary investments who do mumbo jumbo world leader morons armed with nukes and many other frightening movies playing out in our collective reality are just a series of unconnected events which nobody could have foreseen. No one warned us about.
And no one suggested better ways to behave or arrange our life on Earth. None of these events have any connection with dynasties of powerful banking families, Damian banking families or the web of royalty stretching back 1000 years. Hey, Doug. Hey Doug.
Hey Doug. And you'd be a fool Oregon communist perfect. So although these people have the power to control, manipulate and or influence most of the trade government will Religion and media of your country. And historically they have a very bad reputation for that sort of thing.
They're not doing it. Not anymore, honestly. So please don't be upset as your civil liberties are taken away. Don't be pissed off that you can no longer have a private telephone conversation or email correspondence or bank account.
Don't be too worried about the debt we say you must pay and alarmed when we tell you how much more you'll have to give in the future. Try not to let it get to you. But we lied about going to war and many other things. repeat repeat repeatedly, and that all your political leaders believe in imaginary beings and want to destroy the planet simply to make money. As we tell you your freedom must be taken away for reasons of fatherland, security infura I mean national security and to ensure our economic right, you could cut mine, I mean stability.
multi trillion dollar or pound bailouts that place your lives and the lives of your children and their children's children under the yoke of debt, taxation and servitude are necessary to meet the global demand for slavery. I mean growth in Dettol ism, I mean capitalism. Now, there have been reports of a little unrest in Latvia, Iceland, Greece, France and other tax franchises. And it's understandable that some of you are angry, but don't push it you will shortly be facing much harder times with unemployment, relative poverty, rationing of freedom, privacy, travel, food, fuel, health, wealth, happiness, and the pursuit of life.
I'm sure I don't need to remind everybody that violence never accomplished anything except finding our country taking over the lands of others, removing the leaders of other countries, imposing our institutions and will oversee rescuing people from slavery. overthrowing Nazi dictators defeating fascism and some other stuff. This is the only way so suck it up. Now fuck off back to the soup kitchen or will cut your bread ration there will be no revolution but if it makes you feel better, feel free to cry a little and moan to your neighbor about the good old days.
Ah ah ah. Thanks now the weather, debt slavery poverty environmental decay war fascism tyranny with voodoo mumbo jumbo overall. And that's just for Israel under their new right wing government. Have a nice weekend.
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
This episode responds directly to Obama’s February 2009 decision to send 17,000 additional U.S. troops to Afghanistan, an early sign that the new administration would shift the “war on terror” from Iraq toward Afghanistan. At the same time, Britain was still drowning in the banking crisis: RBS, Lloyds, and HBOS had become symbols of failed private finance dumped onto taxpayers, while the Bank of England was openly moving toward quantitative easing. The transcript catches that moment when elite language — “security,” “liquidity,” “stability,” “quantitative easing” — was being used to make imperial war and bank rescue sound technical, necessary, and harmless.
Deek’s central parody is Obama as “Dracul Burma,” a fresh messiah instantly absorbed into the same vampire empire. The Afghanistan troop surge is rewritten as a drug-market intervention: U.S. troops are not fighting terrorism but managing opium supply, heroin prices, and criminal profit. That connects to a long conspiratorial tradition about CIA drug trafficking, but Deek turns it into a fake presidential confession. The Bank of England section similarly sexualizes and deodorizes financial jargon: “quantitative easing” sounds like a luxury product or bedroom lubricant, but really means printing money and transferring bank losses to “peasant” taxpayers.
The recurring FKN themes are especially concentrated here: banksters, puppet masters, war profiteering, state debt slavery, and the fraudulence of democratic change. Obama’s election does not break the system; it refreshes its branding. Britain’s public “poodles” barely react as private bank liabilities become national obligations. The episode’s anger is that both war and finance operate by the same trick: rename theft as policy, make ordinary people pay, and tell them it is being done for their safety.