The News Headlies from VYDi.com
Episode description
Top quotes
“Are there not people in the world?”
“Or they're not people in the world?”
“Can we really go around arresting people for thinking?”
“Perhaps you're planning something that hasn't been done yet?”
“But more importantly, I haven't killed the Queen, Tony bush and all the other maniacs robbing us of our lives which nature gave us and our our birthright from the universe?”
Transcript
International News have no significance at all to the cosmic order, commercial item of no news value whatsoever, possibly a Hollywood movie, or a celebrity sex scandal. And finally a story full of sentiment. So you will forget anything else that came before it. I am clean and dry.
Here are tonight's top stories. In the news this week, in the news this week, in London, a man has been arrested for planning terrorist activities here in Britain and in America. The plans the authorities say we're at an early stage. spokesman for the prosecution in fact said no bomb making material or money had yet been secured. This is an interesting development in international law enforcement, where people anywhere on the planet can be arrested for planning something somewhere else on the planet, even though they may or may not have the means to carry out those plans.
And early stage. In fact, the plans were at such an early stage. Nothing has been done about them yet. I myself haven't done a number of things that the police may be interested in.
Maybe there are things you're planning or thinking about that are at an early stage. This is an interesting development in law enforcement, a bit like that Hollywood movie, where people are arrested before they've done something. However, Is there good evidence that these people could actually have done anything about it? Are there not people in the world?
Or they're not people in the world? Who taught imagine and say things which are really never going to happen? Can we really go around arresting people for thinking? Perhaps you're planning something that hasn't been done yet?
I know I am. My plans are at an early stage to kill Madonna. She's old. She was never any good.
Anyway, give it up Madonna. But more importantly, I haven't killed the Queen, Tony bush and all the other maniacs robbing us of our lives which nature gave us and our our birthright from the universe? No, I haven't done that yet in order to rid the world of these evil Nazi beliefs. But my plans are at an early stage.
I haven't dropped nuclear weapons on Israel or Iran, ridding the world of a bunch of mumbo jumbo mumbo jumbo voodoo psychopaths, destroying the lives of every one of their children with their lies, poison and propaganda. No, I haven't done that yet. But my plans are at an early stage. By the I haven't devised a diabolical new weapon of mass destruction that kills only Homo sapiens.
And cleanses the planet of humans saving the rest of the life on the planet 50 species a day of which human beings are killing with their greed and unnecessary consumerism. But my plans are at an early stage. Thank you. Now the weather the planets fucked.
It's your fault, and it's getting worse. Have a nice weekend.
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
This episode seems to follow the October 2006 Dhiren Barot case, when a London-based al-Qaida figure pleaded guilty to plotting attacks in Britain and the United States. Prosecutors said his plans included financial targets in New York, New Jersey, and Washington, along with UK plots involving gas-filled limousines and a possible dirty bomb. Crucially for Deek’s angle, some of these plans were described as early-stage and lacking money or materials, which lets him pivot from counterterrorism to pre-crime: arresting people not for acts, but for possible future intentions.
The parody here is partly of television news formula itself. The opening reduces the bulletin to interchangeable parts: irrelevant international tragedy, worthless entertainment item, and a sentimental closer to wipe the audience’s memory. Then Deek turns the terror story into a “Minority Report” joke, asking whether thoughts, fantasies, plans, and half-formed rage now count as crimes. His deliberately outrageous “early stage” plans — killing Madonna, the Queen, Tony Blair, humanity itself — are not serious threats but a satirical stress test of the logic: if thinking violently is enough, everyone is arrestable.
The recurring FKN themes are anti-state surveillance, anti-war rage, ecological collapse, and disgust at monarchy, celebrity, religion, Israel/Iran brinkmanship, and human consumerism. The episode is also self-incriminating by design: Deek performs the kind of violent rhetoric he is criticizing authorities for policing. That makes the piece unstable but interesting. He is not defending terrorism so much as attacking a security culture where fear expands law enforcement into imagination itself, while the planet burns and the news keeps soothing the audience with distraction.