BRAND NEW WORLD ORDER 2.0
Transcript
Unknown Speaker 00:00 Brand New World Order 2.0 The astronomers take on the Illuminati lie or don't on Monday saves the world with practical solution and money. Assholes dismayed by decreasing global population of morons Hello, hello potential energy. Unknown Speaker 00:16
Welcome to the fucking news. Unknown Speaker 00:18 I'm not joking. Here are tonight's top stories.
For 1000s of years small groups of humans on every continent at every turn of the page of history have enjoyed more control power and influence than others. by fair means or firewall, cadres of manipulative self interest have sought to control your life through the monarchy, religion for sphere economic tyranny and other mechanisms. They are the people who ripped the hearts from living sacrifices atop the pyramids of the Mayans, Aztecs, Incas, Egyptians.
They were the Druids, the witch doctors, the voodoo priests and the Masons. These are the people who peddled God and nationalism to the small minds of the masses to the morons whose limits they know and prey upon. But not anymore. Now, a brand new world order is rising to combat that secret dominion of power, the new New World Order, Illuminati 2.0, bigger than God richer than the Vatican smarter than the Scientologists more powerful than a fake earthquake weapon.
The astronomers a non secret organization of like minded humans who claim they alone can save humanity from ignorance, superstition and slavery. Here to tell us how is the high priest of empirical data, the guru of observable phenomena, the pope of scientific belief, or dono, nullus. Monday, hello or don't know, welcome to the show. Unknown Speaker 01:46
It's a pleasure to be here. Unknown Speaker 01:49 Or don't although No. Could you tell us briefly about the astronomers and how they can save us from economic slavery minds control and the fabled final solution of the New World Order?
Unknown Speaker 02:00 Well, it's pretty simple, really. All the people who believe the world is ruled by a secret elite, a few wealthy bankers and some giant corporations who practice mumbo jumbo and seek to influence the world for their own benefit. All of these people need to join together in a non secret organization dedicated to the study of the universe, influencing world events for our own benefit and buying the planet.
Through our network of members and pooling our resources. One day we will own the entire planet earth. All humans on Earth will be rational, non violence students of universe we, the astronomers, we seek truth, we move towards the mystery. Understand the universe, travel the eternal road of infinite study.
We our knowledge and the way Unknown Speaker 02:54 yes, all very well and good. But how are you going to save us from the secret tyranny of an all powerful elite who own the world?
Unknown Speaker 03:04 We're going to buy it, we are going to buy the whole planet. Yes indeed. Join us as a partner in the biggest business on earth, the earth itself, visit the astronomers.org where you will find the means of our salvation, astronomy lessons, buy your first lesson and contribute to the battle against ignorance and super voodoo station.
As you buy so shall you sell for each lesson comes with a 50% affiliate program. Spread the knowledge spread the power for only $10 possessed the understanding and the knowledge that sets us free from mumbo jumbo contribute to the purchase of the Earth, the building of bigger telescopes and the end of pointless exploitation. Unknown Speaker 03:50 Wait a minute.
Let me see if I understand this. You're selling astronomy lessons to raise money? Yes, this money will be used to buy the planet that lessons will educate the people of Earth, preventing them from being manipulated by nationalism, religion and other forms of irrelevant rubbish. Put the boat by criminal gangs who just want to keep us all stupid and make us pay for our
Unknown Speaker 04:14 lives. That's right. Listen to me now people, the planets being dug up and sold back to you as pointless shit.
We're not even making something useful, like a giant spaceship or a bigger telescope. Some people don't understand this or don't care. Some people are morons and the people who are doing this they are assholes and the only ones with a sane rational plan to stop them. Astronomers there's 156 million square miles of habitable land on Earth. 6.8 billion people and enough cash not just wealth, but enough actual moolah money to buy the planet of current land values three times over.
For all you people too stupid to understand that You're irreplaceable, unique habitat in all the universe is valued at less than five years profit from the drug trade. And I ain't joking and in a funny join me in the sale of real knowledge to acquire fake wealth to buy the only thing of any value to a human in the universe, our own planet, join me and do something about your slavery. Join me in a non secret organization have learned humans dedicated to by in the planet, saving the Earth and free in the world?
Oh, yeah. Unknown Speaker 05:37 Just a minute or don't know. It seems a little ambitious owning the whole planet.
And anyway, what about the people who don't want to sell or countries that objects to your aims? Unknown Speaker 05:49 Well, I'm not joking. The ultimate aim is a far off goal, call it a bargaining counter, or liken it to the search for perfection.
Back in the real world. Our aim is negotiation from a position of strength. You know, there are dangerous and heavily armed crazy people on Earth, we must face that truth. They're not going to give up without a fight.
We will be persecuted, we will be resisted, but we have grasped their weapon to fight the fire with fire. There can be no greater expression of the fake economy of capitalism than our business. Join me as a partner in the greatest enterprise of all time, planet Earth. Oh, shut the fuck up about the New World Order.
That's right, shut the fuck up. Unless the next thing that comes out of your mouth is a practical solution to the reality of elite ownership of our planet, our lands and our future shut the fuck up. Buying and selling is what we're allowed to do me we are exalted to by the fake economy rests on growth lubricated by sales. A few wealthy bankers that rule over us all with no trouble at all.
Insist that you buy and sell to feed them their profit, but join with me and the other astronomers and we will rest the profit from then by the only means of production worth anything, our planet, something of infinite value, our own life, our own Earth, our own future. Join me on the infinite road and eternal study the Earth is round it goes round the sun exploding stars made all the matter in universe nature created all and all his nature from bang the bang from life to death and back again.
Join the astronomers by the planet save the Earth 3d world or please shut the fuck up. Unknown Speaker 07:41 Well there you have it or don't know Monday laying it on the line by the planets out illuminate the Illuminati be part of the brand new world order join the astronomers or do something else practical in the real worlds to help end the economic slavery. tyranny of nationalism and bogus power of the mumbo jumbo voodoo nutters or shut the fuck up and congratulate the few wealthy bankers that rule over us all with hardly any trouble at all on a job well done.
After all, they have done a very good job of breeding morons to make shit we don't need so the assholes can be richer banks and now the weather disproved group groups of humans wandering about in chaos and confusion while purposeful, single minded evil organizations fuck them over for a buck till the end of time. Have a nice weekend.
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
On 15 August 2008 this episode sits in the aftermath of the Beijing Olympics opening, the continuing financial crisis, and the alternative-media obsession with the New World Order. It also reflects a more specific FKN preoccupation: what, if anything, should replace elite rule, religious delusion, and passive conspiracy watching? The news context is less a single headline than the late-2008 atmosphere of distrust: banks wobbling, oil and food prices volatile, wars ongoing, and the internet full of anti-Illuminati material, 9/11 films, and “wake up” movements.
Deek parodies both secret societies and their would-be opponents by inventing “Brand New World Order 2.0,” run by “the astronomers.” This new anti-Illuminati movement claims to fight superstition, monarchy, religion, Masons, witch doctors, voodoo priests, and banksters through reason and empirical study. But the joke is that it immediately becomes what it opposes: a branded organization, a hierarchy with a mock pope, an affiliate scheme, a sales funnel, and a plan to “buy the whole planet.” Even enlightenment becomes multi-level marketing.
The recurring FKN themes are New World Order, banksters, religion as mind control, scientific rationalism, anti-superstition, and the problem of organizing resistance without reproducing power. The “astronomers” are sincere in wanting a rational, nonviolent humanity, but their method is absurdly capitalist: sell astronomy lessons, pool money, purchase Earth. Deek’s deeper joke is that under capitalism, even liberation has to become a product. The episode attacks not only the old rulers but every branded solution that promises freedom while quietly asking for your credit card.