FKN Newz 2008-09-04

Unknown Speaker 00:00 Sarah Palin Wilds Democratic titz with her ass I mean Republican hassles with her tits. In Afghanistan British military operation succeeds in delivering something somewhere. In the UK middle class nightmares caused sleepless nights whilst Poverty kills peasants by low complicit Empire dwellers.

Welcome to the fucking news, I'm overloaded. Here are tonight's headlines the repulsive convention in America has voted Sarah Palin as Miss repulsive 2008 and officially accepted her as vice president to John McCain for the forthcoming erection I mean election. Sara wowed delegates at the conference with her evening where won them over with her swimsuit she gave them a hand job with her talking snake beliefs and finally bought them to a stunning climax with a let's drill anywhere I'll suck and swallow blow job that had delegates wiping a sticky mess off their trousers with campaign flags. asked why he had selected a young inexperienced foreign policy virgin with firm faiz perky breasts full lips, a firm pair of buttocks and enough influence over Alaskan oil and gas resources to make Exxon come in their pants.

I mean, fill its tanks. John McCain did not say to Unknown Speaker 01:18 Sarah Palin is capable stateswoman, God fearing American moose shooting bikini wearing gun toting honey.

And that will be working her over and looking at her breasts. I mean, I will be looking forward to working with her at her best. If anything should happen to me, once I have won the foregone conclusion, I mean, forthcoming election, and she has to take on the ultimate responsibility of leading this country. America will be run by a crazy religious extremist, who believes women should be objectified to sex objects by men.

That Earth was created 5000 years ago by magical imaginary friends, and that it's God's will that we invade oil rich lands, kill Iraqis and build a pipeline across Alaska the biggest unspoiled wilderness in America. I can't imagine how our country would be better served unless the Israelis themselves ran it for us. Unknown Speaker 02:28 We caught up with VP Sarah just after her repulsive convention speech and asked her what qualities she thinks makes her the right person for the job

Unknown Speaker 02:38 bill. First of all, let me say that we are all evil sinners in God's eyes, and we need to get down on our knees and suck God's deck for forgiveness. God demands that all of us evil, unworthy, sinful human beings do His will.

Whatever that is, and boys and girls, if you're a priest tells you to suck his dick or bend over and take it up the ass. You can be sure that that's God's will as well. God has made his well known to me many times, Siraj. He said just recently, it's my will to invade many countries with oil and gas as possible.

And to have a pipeline built from Alaska, all the way to Exxon's bank account in Switzerland. Also, he said, Oh, life is sacred, unless I want to kill it, or I tell you to kill it, or it doesn't believe in me or it's brown. Or if it's at a wedding in Afghanistan mistaken for a Taliban barbecue. Yes, God's will is very important.

And I urge freedom loving patriotic Americans to suck God's dick and kill on his behalf. Unknown Speaker 03:48 Sarah Palin bear on why she's the best cocksucking talking snake believer in America to force women to have babies they don't want and despoil nature's beauty on behalf of the oil corporations that God so dearly wishes to pay large dividends to its shareholders. In Afghanistan, the biggest military operation ever carried out by British troops has been hailed a great success by Britain funnily enough, the operation codenamed frontline fairy story involves delivering some stuff from one place to another place about 50 miles away.

But a spokesperson for the International insecurity force didn't make this imaginary statement about the operation. I'm pleased to announce that the British Army has safely delivered some stuff somewhere in Afghanistan. The stuff is vital to rebuilding of Afghanistan's infrastructure, which is in a terrible state since we bombed it all to pieces. In as little as two or three years.

Some of this stuff might actually helped to improve the lives of some of the brown people who live here. But if it doesn't, it won't diminish the propaganda value of us announcing the great job we did delivering it today. 3000 troops took part in the mission which lasted over three weeks and involved 100 Strong convoy of armored vehicles. It began with a diversionary attack on anything that moved in Helmand Province, backed up by American airstrikes on goats, wedding parties and donkey carts.

Apache gunships weren't involved, but I'd like to give them a mention because they cost so much fucking money. Anyway, the operation finished with the stuff arrive safely at its destination 50 miles down the road. This is the job well done and proves that normal life is returning to Afghanistan. Soon it may well be possible for only a few 1000 heavily armed troops and dozens of armored vehicles to deliver stuff short distances with only moderate loss of life amongst the civilian population.

God save the Queen and Three cheers for killing anyone we like and calling them the Taliban so people at home don't give a fuck. Hit hit slower on hip hip, hurrah, Hip Hip slobber slobber slobber in the UK Alistair Darling. The government's Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced Britain faces the worst economic crisis of the last 60 years, predicting recession house price falls inflation, unemployment and higher energy costs. reaction to his comments varied from a drop in shared values, criticism by the opposition and members of the public being astounded there was a politician capable of telling the truth.

Then a far ranging speech he went on not to say, well, of course rich people won't notice any of these problems at all. And the middle class will simply go on a cheaper holiday and not buy that Lexus they've always wanted. But for you poor people, and that's most of you, you will suffer. Your old people will freeze to death in the winter, your children will eat crap food and have limited opportunities in education, your wages will become worth less and less and less.

You will lose your overpriced homes and end up renting them back from private landlords. Your retirement will be poverty stricken, and when you die. it will probably be in a filthy care home owned by an insurance company or in a rundown understaffed hospital where there are three managers to each nurse and the computer system which costs more money than the drugs you need to keep you alive doesn't work and neither to the superbug precautions.

which is why you're going to die there. Some Labour Party insiders have spoken out about the party slide in the polls recently claiming that the global economy cannot be blamed for everything. So immigrants and global warming should be used as well. Thanks.

And now the weather. The long term forecast shows war, poverty, exploitation and corruption affecting more and more people that don't matter, over the slight chance of massive population reduction through nuclear war or starvation caused by desertification and deforestation. Have a nice weekend.