FKN Newz 2006-12-02
Transcript
Hi, welcome to the fucking news i importantly worded it Here's tonight's fucking you. In the news this week, President Bush said on a visit to a man we met leaving Iraq until the job is done. What job is that?
Exactly? I haven't finished plastering the bathroom. Maybe a nice patio in the garden or not leaving till the job is done. I'm still paper in the parlor.
Yes the job will be done. They also said in Oman after we're finished the job we're gonna finish the job. They also going on not to say we will deliver the people of Iraq into peace and freedom. Deliver us into peace and freedom.
Sounds like a religious that statement. Lord's deliver us into peace and freedom. Yay, not yay. Not into the anarchy chaos, Civil War, murdering suicide bombing exploding limbs scattered the streets deliver us from stable dictatorships like the one that under Sudan.
The one under General sheriff in Pakistan deliver us from stable dictatorships like the Saudi Arabian and Kuwaiti royal family. But the Lord does live deliver us not deliver us nuts, to a world of sectarian violence of suicide bombers and Carboni carnage. And now a special rendition of the bush prayer. Our army who are in Iraq, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done until the job is done in Iran, as it is in Afghanistan, forever and ever.
Amen. Yes, we're not leaving till the job is done and we have delivered you into peace and freedom. We're not leaving until the till the bathroom is replaced with a new Apple Car suite. And the job is done.
We've delivered you into a world of sanitation. Also, in the news this week, Stephen Hawking said that mankind's future lies in the stars with the exploration of the cosmos and beyond. Good I can't fucking wait. The sooner we're destroying this planet for a good reason, the better.
We should be building a giant golden spaceship with which to travel the stars and explore the universe, then at least the be a good reason for digging up the planet, destroying it, exploiting our children's lives to pay for the debt. We're going to have the useless consumer rubbish that we have. Yes, let's get those golden spaceships together. Steven, I'm with you all the way exploring the universe in peace, freedom and free from the economic slavery.
No, currently, no plans exist to build a giant golden spaceship and explore the heavens instead of economic exploitation and slavery of the masses will continue simply to make a few more people a bit more money. The people who have oh yes, that's right. So Stephen Hawking bring on the golden spaceships with which to explore the universe.
Yeah. Thanks. And now the weather, the planet spots. It's your fault, and it's getting worse.
Have a nice weekend.
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
This episode follows Bush’s late-November 2006 regional diplomacy after the Iraq war had become politically toxic at home and strategically disastrous abroad. Bush met Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki in Amman, Jordan, and repeated the familiar formulation that U.S. forces would stay until “the job is done.” The phrase had become almost empty by this point, because the “job” kept shifting: WMDs, Saddam, democracy, anti-terrorism, stability, sectarian peace, and later containment of Iran. The Stephen Hawking reference comes from his argument that humanity’s long-term survival depends on spreading into space.
Deek’s parody attacks the religious and managerial vagueness of Bush’s language. “Deliver us into peace and freedom” becomes a twisted prayer, with the U.S. Army replacing God and Iraq, Afghanistan, and Iran forming an imperial holy trinity. The bathroom-plastering jokes make “the job” sound like unfinished home improvement, exposing how absurdly casual the phrase is when applied to occupation, civil war, and mass death. The satire also contrasts America’s hatred of unstable enemies with its support for “stable dictatorships” in Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Saddam’s Iraq when convenient.
The recurring FKN themes are Iraq, empire, fake liberation, religious war language, economic slavery, and ecological collapse. Hawking’s space dream lets Deek briefly imagine a noble use for human industry: a golden spaceship instead of disposable consumer trash. But the optimism collapses immediately. Humanity is not destroying Earth to reach the stars; it is destroying Earth to sell rubbish, service debt, and enrich a few people. As always, the weather forecast returns to the real headline: the planet is fucked, and the public is complicit.