FKN Newz 2007-01-20
Transcript
till the war. Hi, I'm fast and loose. Welcome to the fucking us. Here are the headlines to not be afraid.
Be very afraid of the Chinese anti satellite Messiah they'll be afraid that your Government will use this as an excuse to squeeze even more tax dollars out of you to pay to the military industrial machine to keep them whole fat and fucking happy. Yeah, be afraid all the threat is now so fucking big. Nevermind terrorism. The threat is now Extra Terrestrial al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden.
They just weren't fucking frightening enough. No. Now we have space war. Yes, the Chinese have developed technology, which could cause a 911 in space.
Welcome to Earth, Earth, a planet to a peaceful, tolerant, peace loving animals called earthlings who just happened to have developed a way to blow shit up in outer space. We are so fucking peace loving. Yeah, come to Earth. We'll kill you fuckers.
In reality, China's the business partner of the US. And a phone call happened when something like this A, who is George W here, you know, Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda. They're just not quite scary enough or it was wondering if you could blow some shit up in outer space. So we can scare the fuck out of our population and convince them to keep funding our maniacal fucking lifestyles.
Yeah, Chinese are going to make the weapons America persuades its people to buy to protect them from China, a new generation of military spending in anti anti satellite weaponry. You can only imagine how expensive expensive that'll be. Yes, you and your children and your children's fucking children will be paying the military industrial machine for the rest of your lives. In order to keep you from being afraid of the Chinese. preemptive strike on the moon has taken place by the Chinese.
It's our 911 in space. We must destroy Earth in order to save space. You must all give up all your freedom and all your money in order to save space from the Chinese. Be afraid be very fucking afraid.
In the UK controversy rages over Channel Four is Big Brother program. As gormless bimbo Jane Goody is allowed to introduce reality to the British public. For years the British public has labored under the misconception. We're not racist.
This is not a racist country. Oh no, we're not racist. No, no, it just so happens that our society is built around the Queen giving birth to eggs of white people. Oh, yes.
Let's see let a black person fuck your queen and then tell me you're not racist. You delusional fuckers? Yeah, not racist. Take a camera out in the real world.
Do you think Paki jokes and bent themselves? Wake fucking up. White people even hate white people racism fucking haters and Protestants hate Catholics rich people hate poor people. In Britain people hate each other because they support different football teams Fuck What do you think they think of people who walk different talk different eat different dress different fucking Are we a racist country?
Get out and have a look. I think you'll be not pleasantly surprised. Jane good Jade Good day good is the least of our fucking problems. We got one black judge over there and an Asian judge over there.
The that means out of 1000 judges we have next to fuck all the white upper class fuckers running out country not racist. Oh, let me see the Queen buck by a black man man come on that Britain's gripped by frenzied reassurance we're not racist earlier. We're not racist. We are terribly tolerant of those Johnny foreigners.
Yes, we're very tolerant of the our our foreign community as well. We're not racist at all. We're peace loving, foreigner loving country that just wants to smell the pure white pussy juice of an Aryan Queen Yahtzee guy. Yeah, no fucking racist.
Ah. Thanks. And now the whatever. The planet remains fucked.
So is space. Have a nice weekend.
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
This episode responds to two very specific January 2007 stories. China had just conducted an anti-satellite missile test, destroying one of its own weather satellites and alarming the United States because it showed that space infrastructure could become a battlefield. In Britain, Celebrity Big Brother had exploded into scandal after Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd, and Jo O’Meara bullied Indian actress Shilpa Shetty, triggering a national argument over racism, class, reality TV, and British self-image.
Deek’s China segment treats the space-weapons panic as a gift to the military-industrial machine. The phrase “9/11 in space” mocks how every new threat is folded into the same fear economy: terrorism becomes al-Qaeda in orbit, then becomes justification for another generation of military spending. His fake Bush-China phone call imagines geopolitical rivalry as secret cooperation, with China frightening Americans into buying weapons while manufacturing the goods that sustain American consumer life. The joke is that enemy and business partner are the same system.
The Big Brother section is a more domestic attack on British denial. Deek is not interested in treating Jade Goody as the sole villain; he says she merely revealed the racism already built into society. He connects tabloid racism, monarchy, white aristocratic power, football tribalism, class hatred, anti-Catholic/Protestant sectarianism, and the near-total whiteness of elite institutions. The recurring FKN themes are fear manufacture, militarism, fake national innocence, monarchy, class rule, and media distraction. Space war and reality-TV racism seem unrelated, but Deek frames both as exposure events: one shows how power monetizes fear, the other shows what Britain really is when the cameras stay on.