FKN Newz 2008-07-03
Transcript
Unknown Speaker 00:00 Iran to attack Israel after we bomb them and say crazy religious Zionists, us send more troops to die in Afghanistan for oil company providence in the UK war planners order taxpayers to buy them some aircraft carriers Panelo consumer units Welcome to the fucking news I fully automatic. Here are tonight's headlines. Middle East, analysts claim an attack on Israel by Iran would destabilize the region increased stress on American forces in the region, push the price of oil up even further give us an excuse for nuclear Armageddon and usher in the biblical rapture in the second coming of Christ.
Nice. become as calm as Iran carried out military exercises in preparation for being bombed by Israel before President Bush leaves office saying this religious nutters have repeatedly claimed that Iran's nuclear program is just the excuse they need since it contravenes the international agreement to let Israel be the only bartering fascist nuclear bully in the region. Will the UN believes the crisis can be resolved by Iran allowing Israel or America to bomb them back to the Stone Age without retaliation.
A spokesperson for the UN gave this imaginary statement earlier today. Although everybody America and Israel have every right to bomb any country they don't like and get away with it. All they have to do is say the country in question was asking for it or spilled their drink. Iran should not defend itself against these unprovoked attacks or bother trying to prove the allegations against them are rubbish it is that Iran should gracefully allow its people to be killed in an aerial assault.
After all, this ability to stand up to regional bullies and global Netsy super states. It's not a fundamental right. Any other country thinking of selling its oil in euros and telling America to fuck off? should think very carefully before following Iran down this dangerous road of national defense and self interest. jabbers I think you know who we're talking about. Let me just close by saying the UN has an important role to play in world affairs, passing pointless resolutions against military superpowers who killed millions and ignore international laws.
It's thanks to the UN that the people of Iraq and Afghanistan can be invaded and occupied without having attacked anyone. The people of Darfur can be raped and killed to make way for Chinese oil exploration. And the people of Palestine can be herded like cattle into the biggest concentration camp on our long loop peace and freedom, Americans freedom to do anything and Israel's piece of the action. interrelated story.
President Bush has announced more troops for the International insecurity persistence force in Afghanistan. Here he is spewing I mean, speaking at the White House, hello, my fellow Americans, that it's been a tough month in Afghanistan for few and significant military pawns, dying on behalf of the oil profits, my friends, freedom fighters, that I mean, evil terrorist. insurgent religious fanatics, have regrouped and still resist our occupation and I mean assistance.
And because of this, I will be sending more killers as soldiers to Afghanistan, where after seven years of war, I mean, assisting the people, there's still no water, no electricity, and no education for most people. Most of the time, just the way we like it. I hope the increase in troop numbers will convince the African ease of our commitment to really them killing them, occupying their land and not improving their lives in any significant way at all.
You think after seven years of promising food, water, power and education, while billions are embezzled by corrupt officials and contractors, they would be getting the picture. Anyways, long lived hypocrisy in God bless the United States of military superpower. Now I'll go back to sleep now. In the UK a 4 billion pound contract for two EU aircraft carriers has been confirmed by the government today, Gordon Brown announced the plans at Downing Street in this exclusive interview with fucking us
Unknown Speaker 04:14 a whole ad. Yeah. that fails or threatened well be shafted for years to come in order to supply our armed forces with these carriers who loves these ships will allow Britain to project out influence across the world ensuring our ability to fuck with other people's countries if we want to.
and our changing world of uncertain future. That's important. Our military industrial complex keep screwing the taxpayers for billions in an unrelenting slave economy with endless war provides jobs and security. These gaps are symbolic of either a desire to kill people, or at least force them to comply with them. wishes to subject them to the rule of our shadowy puppet masters to drop off a constitutional monarchy that underpins your serfdom.
And I would wish to come to your country however far away from ours and drop bombs on you all Yeah, God save her majesty and fuck the rest of you and significant peasants. Three cheers for narrow cause of nationalism, all hail, military power and the force of arms. You know, you know, I used to be an intellectual but now I'm just not getting of corporate power. And I would sell my dead grandmother to keep my possession of employees.
Fuck off, pay your taxes while I suck George Bush's deck. I'm still trying to get a taste but Tony often. Unknown Speaker 05:44 Thanks.
And now the weather, killing people to continue to the weekend with a chance of a large number of dead people in Iran by the end of the year. Have a nice weekend.
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
On 3 July 2008 the real context was mounting fear of a U.S. or Israeli attack on Iran, continuing escalation in Afghanistan, and British defense spending. Iran had been under pressure over its nuclear program, Israel had recently conducted military exercises widely read as a possible rehearsal for a strike, and oil prices were near record highs. In Afghanistan, NATO forces were suffering a worsening insurgency, and Bush was discussing additional troops. In Britain, the government was committed to new aircraft carriers, an expensive military project at a time of public strain.
Deek’s opening joke reverses the logic of pre-emptive war: Iran will “attack Israel” only after Israel or America bombs it first. The UN is parodied as an institution whose real job is to legitimize superpower violence while urging victims not to defend themselves. Israel is described as the protected nuclear bully of the region, while Iran’s real crime is national self-interest, oil independence, and refusal to obey. The Bush Afghanistan segment does the same inversion: troops are not peacekeepers but expendable “military pawns” dying for oil-company interests, while occupation is rebranded as assistance.
Recurring FKN themes are loud and direct: fake humanitarian war, oil empire, Israel/Palestine, Iran as manufactured enemy, the UN as useless theater, Afghanistan and Iraq as occupations, and soldiers as disposable servants of elite profit. The aircraft-carrier line brings the same critique home to Britain: taxpayers fund imperial hardware while politicians call it security. As usual, the show treats “peace,” “freedom,” and “international law” as branding words pasted over bullying, resource theft, and mass death.