BULLSHIT SHORTAGE CAUSED BY PEAK BULLSHIT

Unknown Speaker 00:00 bullshit shortage threatens to undermine mate ship each ship economy can collude fails to halt climate change with hard on tax and sea level limits in the UK. Last prices fall as bank predicts no problem for the very rich. Hello landless peasants.

Welcome to the fucking bourbon happening. Here are tonight's headlines. A global shortage of bullshit is causing rising food and fuel prices across the world. Some of the hardest hit by the shortage are the poorest countries on Earth, many of whom were already struggling to find enough bullshit to feed the increasing numbers questioning authority and demanding change for the amount of shit they have to swallow.

Economists have long predicted the time when demand for bullshit would outstrip supply the so called Peak bullshit. This would cause a seismic shift in the price of bullshit just about everything else poorly educated presidents have been told they need to enjoy life. For many years now cheap bullshit has been taken for granted. Many Americans were raised on an abundance of bullshit flowing endlessly from their politicians, business leaders, religious charlatans.

and great rivers of hot steamy bullshit flowed from the media pouring out of hundreds of TV channels dribbling from the press oozing out of movies and squirting from every loudspeaker in the country. America land of the free home of the brave the free market improvements to standard of living equality, justice, freedom for all the greatest country on Earth excetera blah, blah, blah. So much bullshit has been used on the American people that they account for 40% of the entire planets bullshit emissions, though it is estimated that China will catch up soon, given the amount of bullshit needed to persuade a billion capitalists slaves, they live in a communist Republic. speculators have pushed the cost of bullshit up to record highs on the world's markets.

In the past a literal bullshit might only cost you peace of mind some dignity, perhaps your self esteem. In today's world, millions die paying for the bullshit of evil lying Fox in charge of the American government. Many more millions spent their lives in slavery and poverty sustained by a seemingly endless stream of filthy hot liquid bullshit, but not for much longer. But global shortage in supply means less bullshit to go round.

Some people believe this will lead to catastrophic consequences for our fake economy. The War on Terror and the lies about life on Earth in general. As bullshit runs out many people will start to think for themselves some may actually realize the very rich have been fucking the Mogul for a buck simply to make themselves richer, they may wake up one day and see the world as a place to live and not an economic opportunity.

They may wonder why a small group of wealthy banking families control all the world's resources and manipulate wars, economies and populations to suit their own ends. As you can imagine, this would be very bad news for the super rich. Nonetheless, desperate efforts to find a solution are being sought by the super rich, including synthetic bullshit, a form of bullshit made in an industrial process called lying Do you see a naturally occurring bullshit using some parts of reality.

bending and shaping its and twisting it to make almost anything possible. But synthetic bullshit is completely made up of lies that contains nothing remotely true or real in any way. That's all. Examples of this are your weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Iran's threat to world peace 911 was done by Arabs and America is spreading peace and freedom so on and so on. It remains to be seen if enough synthetic bullshit can be Unknown Speaker 03:49 produced to keep the world's population completely full of it.

Unknown Speaker 03:54 More on that story leader in climate news, King colludes once famed for veiled attempt to hold back the tide has been drafted in by world climate change scientists to stand the onset of global warming, melting ice caps and rising sea levels. Climatologists have recently released data saying the rate of polar ice cap melting is increasing. And unless we do something magical, nothing will stop world's sea levels rising by up to seven meters around the world.

A spokesperson for climate scientists made this imaginary statement today. Climate change is a bad thing. Even though it's been happening for millions of years, and it's part of the natural cycle of life on Earth. It's a bad thing.

There are many things affecting climate change. And one of the most expensive is your government's desire to tax you like a robber baron and claim the whole thing is your fault. This form of taxation is being called a carbon tax. That's the kind of tax that's got nothing to do with the environment but gives the government a hard on thinking about how much money they can screw out of you.

King Canute will begin his attempt to stop claiming change after North Pole this summer, where he'll be placed on a throne atop the Arctic ice there he will command the ice to stop melting, whilst simultaneously whipping out too hard on tax and forcing the peasants to swallow eggs. In the UK, the price of being middle class continues to fall as the Governor of the Bank of England predicts good times ahead for the super rich.

And that exclusive statement to the fucking news he did not say Unknown Speaker 05:25 it's never been cheaper to be poor, and even being middle class is now Unknown Speaker 05:30

very affordable. With rising food and fuel prices, creating more and more poor people every day, and falling house prices plunging the grasping middle classes into negative equity. There's never been a better time to be super rich. In a related story Alistair Darling Chancellor of the Exchequer made his first speech at the annual luncheon has dinner given for influential bankers and bankers and other evil Fox.

He also had good news for poverty watchers, and emphasizing the need to increase inflation he pointed out the current rate to 3% Too low back in the 70s and reached 26%. Something to look forward to then Mr. Darling said new powers given to the Bank of England would see them exercise more control over the country than any bunch of democratically elected peasants ever could, without being able to do anything about it.

And part of His strategy was to tackle consumer inflation by making people poorer so they couldn't afford to spend anything, Mr. Darling gold for pay restraint in both the private and public sectors, adding that the poor must remain poor and the middle class should probably start to feel the pinch of it. God save the wealthy and go live control of the planet's resources by a small group of wealthy banking families.

Thanks and now the weather the planet spine, but your phones and a small group of wealthy banking families are going to keep you that way. Have a nice weekend.