FKN Newz 2006-03-03
Top quotes
“Using money from the sale of cocaine to the American people organized by the CIA.”
“Why do the headlines tonight?”
“You search for Osama bin Laden?”
“Anyone know where you can get some?”
Transcript
Use around the world with V. Why do the headlines tonight? You search for Osama bin Laden? President Bush tours India Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Mi five la you Liberal Democrat leader. Oxbridge establishment rules okay yeah bass. Tessa gel Richford not guilty says guilty rituals. Dangerous new drugs set to Sweep UK says manufacture our top story tonight and you search for Osama bin Laden gets underway as President Bush travels to India, Afghanistan and Pakistan.
President Bush didn't declare we will not find bin Laden. We have checked the cupboard under the stairs and look behind the carriage is nowhere to be seen. Adding it was a bad idea to play hide and seek and let them lead and find a good place to hide. So I have come to Afghani India, Pakistan, to look for an in person nipple politically.
Let him be unloaded he went off wherever he isn't. We will look there. Then when we don't find him. We will not bring him to justice for the evil he did with our help creating a network of terrorist training camps across the Middle East.
Using money from the sale of cocaine to the American people organized by the CIA. We will not punish him for not stepping forward to say that 911 was facilitated by Masada and the neocon Americans to justify holy war across the planet. In related news, people of America were warned repeatedly that George Bush was stupid. Officials in the city of New Orleans have released video conference footage, revealing prior knowledge that President Bush was indeed stupid.
The footage further undermines the White House claims that George Bush is an intelligent, rational human being well able to carry out the duties of the office of president. During the video conference sessions. Many respected officials can be hard warning Mr. Bush of his own stupidity, and the dangers faced by the people of America with him in charge.
More on that story later. Mi five are celebrating tonight after main Campbell was elected leader of the Liberal Democrat. The election comes about after the media forced Charles Kennedy out of office for liking a drink. Rumors about the takeover of the Liberals by an MI five stooge appear to be true.
Who else can explain why a perfectly good drunk would be handed out of office and replaced by a faceless Oxbridge graduate recruited by the Secret Service just in case the Liberals ever gained power? A spokesman for the liberal party didn't say this is a great day for us. You know when the Oxbridge mafia infiltrate your party and tell you to adopt Tory policies. You're doing something right.
After many years in the wilderness of politics that liberal Democrats have built up such a following. They are now poised for government. An insider at MI five didn't say we wouldn't bother taking control of their party if it didn't look like they could get elected. Main Campbell has not pledged to change all liberal policies to suit the middle classes, abandon sensible taxation pledges and stop going on about the Iraq War.
Culture Secretary Tessa gyral is not guilty. She's just rich sources close to her bank statement said yesterday the commons committee on sleaze I mean standards in public life has cleared her of any wrongdoing in the Berlusconi paid off my mortgage, but I didn't notice honest affair. Mrs. Jarrell has said, I didn't notice my mortgage of 400,000 pounds have been paid off because they have so much money.
Mr. Berlusconi hasn't said the money wasn't from me. It was from another president of Italy called Berlusconi, a different one. Okay.
Tessa's husband, Mr. Zhao, an international wire I mean lawyer who testified on behalf of the real Benito Berlusconi in the fraud and corruption trial said, I'm not guilty. I'm just rich. That money was a gift from someone, I don't know.
But whoever it was didn't need my testimony to save their political career. Other news in the UK a dangerous dance drug could hit the streets of Britain says hateful money launderers, a dance and sex drug which is more addictive than crack cocaine could sweep through Britain, the United Nations has warned. Methamphetamine or crystal meth allows users to stay awake for days and increases sexual arousal.
And it's already rampant in the US. Analysts in the UK think the new drug could hit the streets soon. And by all accounts it's a fucking cracker. You stay awake for days and fuck like a beast.
What could be the problem? A spokesman for the government hasn't said we can't have that. It sounds like too much fun. Anyone know where you can get some?
And now the weather for it. Are would face 25% Less water by the end of the century geographical factors will amplify changes in rainfall and climate patterns water shortages could provoke conflicts over rivers that cross borders have a nice weekend
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
This episode comes from the week of George W. Bush’s South Asia tour, including India, Afghanistan, and Pakistan, while Osama bin Laden remained at large more than four years after 9/11. It also follows the release of Katrina video-conference footage showing Bush had been warned before the storm hit, feeding the argument that his administration was negligent or incompetent. In Britain, Menzies “Ming” Campbell had just become Liberal Democrat leader after Charles Kennedy was pushed out over alcoholism. Tessa Jowell was under pressure over her husband David Mills, Silvio Berlusconi, and disputed financial arrangements connected to their mortgage. Deek also gestures toward a drugs scare, likely mocking media/manufacturer panic cycles.
The Bush material combines incompetence satire with deeper conspiracy culture. The childish “hide and seek” Bin Laden joke mocks the absurdity of the world’s superpower failing to catch its central villain, while the darker riffs invoke CIA blowback, drugs, Mossad, neocons, and 9/11-as-pretext. Katrina becomes proof that Bush’s stupidity was not merely comic but lethal. The Liberal Democrat bit turns Ming Campbell into an establishment plant: Oxbridge, MI5, moderation, and the abandonment of anti-war politics. Charles Kennedy’s drinking is treated almost affectionately; the “respectable” replacement is the real joke.
The recurring FKN themes are distrust of official narratives, contempt for elite continuity, and the sense that democracy is stage-managed by security services, media pressure, and class networks. Tessa Jowell’s mortgage scandal lets Deek parody the rich-person defence of not noticing vast sums of money. Across the episode, leaders do not govern so much as perform innocence: Bush cannot find Bin Laden, Campbell is supposedly independent, Jowell is supposedly unaware, and the media converts systemic corruption into personality drama.