FKN Newz 2006-02-03
Transcript
You around the world with v y d. I am slightly assaulted here tonight's headline. Gypsum theory 640 miles to survivors demand rebound.
Muslims protested Muhammad cartoons. You must tolerate our intolerance they ran for threatens non cooperation with nuclear cavity search Security Council scratches on ours. You book says bush and Blair lied over Iraq, but nobody is surprised or cares at all whatsoever. Not even a little bit.
Good evening, our top story tonight and Egyptian fairy carry carrying 1300 People has sunk in the Red Sea. Maritime experts said the addition of three extra decks may have made it top heavy and contributed to the speed with which it sank. Whatever the cause it's believed to have some 40 miles from the coast of Egypt. Relatives of people who died in the incident did not demand a full refund for the journey.
Not adding their dead relatives failed to complete the voyage. So why should the ferry company keep the money? It's a ripoff. In Denmark tonight, the Danish Prime Minister apologized for cartoons of Muhammad printed by newspapers in his country.
He went on not to say we will tolerate religious intolerance and execute the vile creative person who dare to express his opinion in such a blatantly artistic way. However, he didn't add our bacon sales remain unaffected in the Muslim community. In Britain, Iraq and other Muslim countries, believers have called for intolerance and an end to people's right to speak their mind or draw pictures of things they see imagine or otherwise create.
In the interests of fairness and to demonstrate how to exercise your free speech. We in the vide newsroom have drawn our own cartoon which we feel sums up the issues raised in the story. Our legal team have advised us that this picture of Jesus sucking Buddha's Dick Well Jehovah fucks him up the ass and Harry Krishna takes pictures could give rise to events. Cartoons around the world have taken to the streets in protest.
Like world stupidity. Beavis and Butthead didn't say, kiss my two dimensional but you monkey spanking sperm buckets. Iran has threatened to end cooperation with the International Atomic Energy Agency. If it's reported to a meeting of the Security Council.
In a statement to the world's press, Iran's President did not say we won't be safe till we have the bomb. Look what happened to Sudan. If he'd had the bomb. Nobody would have fucked with him.
Do you think we're stupid? Nobody's messing with North Korea. And it's not because their breath smells. If we don't get the bomb soon, America will waltz into our country, take over our oil and tell the world it was necessary to protect freedom.
President Putin of Russia said you lovely oil rich fanatical religious regime. There's no need for you to pollute the earth with plutonium enrichment facilities. We can do it for you and make a buck at the same time. We urge the international community to make Iran buy our services.
Jack Straw, the UK Defence Secretary did say Iran has no right to develop a nuclear weapon, not adding if they do, we'll have to shut the fuck up and leave them alone. Like all the other evil regimes with nuclear weapons China, North Korea, Pakistan, Israel, etc. And finally tonight, a new book lawless worlds by Philip sands, a human rights lawyer claims bush and Blair lied over the war in Iraq. The book based on a written record of a conversation between Bush and Blair outlines Bush's plans to invade Iraq regardless of UN approval.
Other plans discussed included disguising planes in United Nations colors as a way of tricking Saddam into war and producing defectors with fake information about weapons of mass destruction. In an unpublished section of the book, President Bush doesn't say suck my dick, Tony, I'll let you lick the shit off it after a fucking wreck. The book goes on not to say the Bush was mad for it. And the thought of all that Iraqi oil was giving him a warm feeling deep down inside.
He was getting off on the thought of strutting on the international stage, swinging his dick and saying peace, freedom democracy. Who needs that shit when the American army is in town? God's on our side and your weak, poorly armed ragtag title head army can't stop us. God bless America.
Those are the top stories tonight. Now the weather showers of Toothless international bodies drifting over the polar regions of Earth. Occasional scientific monitoring of the Earth's decline will gradually increase and many lies about nuclear power saving the planet to continue
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
This episode is built around the front pages of early February 2006: the sinking of the Egyptian ferry Al-Salam Boccaccio 98 in the Red Sea, the global escalation of protests over the Danish Muhammad cartoons, Iran’s confrontation with the IAEA over its nuclear programme, and renewed claims that Bush and Blair had planned the Iraq invasion regardless of UN approval. Deek’s news context is grim: mass death at sea, religious anger spilling into geopolitics, nuclear brinkmanship, and the already-familiar sense that the Iraq War had been sold on lies. His treatment is deliberately obscene because the real news itself already feels obscene: preventable disaster, sanctimony, hypocrisy, and official indifference.
The parody targets the fake neutrality of television news. The ferry disaster becomes a grotesque consumer-rights joke about refunds, reducing tragedy to customer service logic. The Muhammad cartoon controversy lets him attack both religious censorship and liberal hand-wringing, with the “we tolerate intolerance” line mocking governments and media trying to appease outrage without defending speech clearly. The Iran segment is sharper geopolitically: he imagines Iran’s blunt strategic logic, that nuclear weapons protect regimes from American intervention, then has Russia turn non-proliferation into a business opportunity. Jack Straw’s line exposes the central hypocrisy: nuclear weapons are unacceptable only when the wrong people want them.
The recurring FKN themes are already fully formed here: anti-war cynicism, imperial hypocrisy, media cowardice, state violence, and the belief that official morality is mostly branding. “Freedom” is presented as a slogan used by powerful states while they invade oil-rich countries. The NWO/bankster material is less explicit in this episode, but the same worldview is present: governments lie, corporations profit, media packages horror into digestible absurdity, and ordinary people are left with the bodies.