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FKN Newz · 2006-04-22

FKN Newz 2006-04-22

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Top quotes

“Treat yourself indulge yourself SELF SELF SELF more and more and more consume consume.”
“I mean America Long live capitalism I mean president who?”
“What the fuck do you expect to happen?”
“Are we on the same planet as these people?”
“Why do we have gotten the queen in our affairs?”

Transcript

Auto-generated by otter.ai. Errors expected. Reformatted for readability — original .txt download below.

The Queen celebrates 80th birthday and stupidity of subjects. Nepalese Monica bemoans people's freedom and loss of power. Chinese Premier who is it's America, Bush says evil military dictators are welcome here. In the UK 25% of children are obese 100% of business couldn't give a fuck. noose around the world from by Di.

It's April 22 2006. I'm barely human. Here are the headlines tonight. The Queen celebrated her 80th birthday on Friday with an informal walkabout in the grounds of Windsor Castle.

This is thought that the British people are so fucking stupid. They still love and respect this evil Nazi land grabbing old bag and her fascist leech like family who've been milking this country dry for 1000 years, presiding over the theft of all land from the people, their oppression by evil, religious nutters and the continued possession of everything in the country. Her Majesty's Government, roads, Army, Navy, blah, blah, blah, I don't want to sound ungrateful to the monarchy for robbing us for 1000 years and denying people the right to be free, but fuck them all.

It's the 21st century, let's have a modern world where the head of state isn't symbolically the same as the leader of an ant colony or beehive and our government is ours, and not the heritage of Norman banded robbers and murdering Imperial Nazis. In the poll, the people have risen up against the absolute rule of King Gyanendra, and a week of bloody protests that the seven people have been killed and many other injured and arrested.

Despite the king offering concessions to democracy, the protesters have continued to call for an end to the monarchy and the formation of a democratic republic. Wow. Are we on the same planet as these people? Come on Britain?

Why do we have gotten the queen in our affairs? It's a modern world. I've got broadband sat nav and pictures of galaxies formed billions of years ago on my computer, but if God and the queen are irrelevant, and pointless, not to mention evil and fascist, I urge you all to go outside man, the barricades change the world and end the tyranny of what's that? Nobody gives a fuck.

And life's too good to get worked up about that shit. And we go live now to lovely ham palace where the queen will make a speech to the nation. It's me, I'm the queen. I would like to say thank you to all my people in my country, for not listening to any calls put an end to my whole it's wonderful being the queen.

I get everything and you will get nothing. My family took this country by force in 1066. And since then, by a combination of armed force, and your stupidity, we have ruled over you and control the country's resources. Apart from 10 years of Oliver Cromwell.

What a beastly man. Anyway, I'm the queen and you're my people. And you love me and respect me. And don't let anybody tell you any different now, get back to work and pay your taxes and and ask why you no longer own your land in your country.

Chinese Premier views official visit to America has been dogged by protests at every event. democracy and civil rights campaigners have called for sanctions to be imposed and a boycott of Chinese products. They say the Chinese government is an evil regime, which suppresses freedom of speech, bans political opposition, invaded Tibet in the 50s, killing many people and presiding over rape and torture of the Tibetans.

President Bush said we have much in common edifying with the Chinese government and our relationship should grow and prosper along with our bank balances. As we heard our populations into a life of empty consumerization and materialism isn't destroying the planet and creating a culture of winners and losers that will soon pervade the entire world and ending forever the natural lives of human beings on earth.

If I rant rant, slobber, God Save the Queen. I mean America Long live capitalism I mean president who? In Britain, a recent survey has found that 25% of children are fat or obese. The report cites lifestyle changes as a reason for much of the problem, saying these days children watch DVDs and play video games instead of playing outside.

Their parents drive them to school instead of them walking. Fast food and processed foods make up a larger part of their diet and fewer fresh fruits. and vegetables are eaten than a generation ago, a spokesperson for the government didn't say, Look, we're not here to look after the people of this country. It's our job to help business make more money. We can't go around telling people fat and sugar are bad for you and that vegetarians live longer, even if it's true.

Imagine what would happen to our bribes. I mean the economy. The thing is parents will just have to be stronger, dragging their children past the sweets at every checkout, and saying no every 32nd When the adverts are on telly. It's not like it's our job to stop business cynically exploiting vulnerable children, or for us to make sure the food and drink on sale in the country is good for you.

That's not our job. Is it? A spokesperson for a spokesperson for fat people said, You fuckers here we are in a land of excess and plenty of time of decadence, overflowing with surplus food and luxuries of all kinds at affordable prices. And you want us to feel bad that we take advantage of it.

Here we are surrounded by and bombarded with messages to have more get it now. Why wait? Treat yourself indulge yourself SELF SELF SELF more and more and more consume consume. In fact, isn't that how our society is described?

We are consumers? What the fuck do you expect to happen? When you create a selfish consumerist world where satisfying your desires? It's not only okay, it's encouraged almost compulsory.

After all, what would happen to the economy? I mean, the politicians bribes if we stopped going large and have in it. How did things how do you think we get 3% growth in the economy each year? It's not because we've worked harder, you know, it's because we eat more and consume more.

Wake up and smell that pizza. This is just the beginning. You think people will be the minority soon, then we can point the finger at you and say, look at them. They're just not helping.

How are we going to compete with the Chinese if people don't start eating more and watching the telly? And now, the weather. lifestyles in Britain are becoming increasingly unsustainable and are placing a larger burden on the global environmental system, a report produced by Neff at the Open University's Geography Department in 1961, the earth could have supported everyone having a UK lifestyle. Today, it would take 3.1 planets.

The findings are based on the concept of ecological footprints, a system of measuring how much land and water a human population needs to produce the resources it consumes and absorb the resulting waste of a nice weekend.

Analysis essay

This episode is anchored in a week of monarchy and authoritarianism: Queen Elizabeth II’s 80th birthday, Nepal’s mass pro-democracy uprising against King Gyanendra, and Chinese President Hu Jintao’s visit to the United States amid protests over Tibet, censorship, and human rights. Deek uses these stories to collapse the distance between “respectable” monarchy, open autocracy, and corporate-friendly dictatorship. The final domestic item, childhood obesity, points toward another form of power: business profiting from bad food while government and media moralize about children.

The Queen segment is one of Deek’s most republican rants. He portrays the monarchy not as harmless pageantry but as the living symbol of land theft, Norman conquest, empire, church power, and inherited ownership. Nepal becomes the contrast that shames Britain: people there are risking death to end royal rule, while Britons with broadband, satellite navigation, and images of galaxies still tolerate hereditary authority. The fake Queen speech makes the implicit explicit: “I get everything and you get nothing,” because conquest plus public stupidity preserved the system.

The China visit sharpens the hypocrisy. Bush can denounce tyranny elsewhere, but China’s dictatorship is acceptable because it is profitable. The recurring FKN themes are class ownership, fake democracy, state violence, and consumer complicity. Monarchy, Chinese authoritarian capitalism, and junk-food corporations all sit inside the same worldview: elites rule, business feeds on the public, and most people are too comfortable, distracted, or conditioned to revolt. The episode’s central joke is that Britain thinks it is modern while still bowing before a feudal mascot.