FKN Newz 2006-05-20

Iraq swears in God as leader of its first government. Un calls for better torture technique at Guantanamo detention center. In the UK, ministers call for legal exploitation of illegal immigrants. Use around the world with vy di, I'm vaguely moist.

Here are tonight's headlines. In Iraq the first government's and Saddam Hussein has been sworn in bringing one step closer to the day when troops can withdraw from Iraq leaving the people in the hands of a bunch of religious zealots, many of whom still consider women second class citizens and non believers as inhuman dirt. Congratulations to the international community Britain and America in particular, freedom and democracy are alive and well in Iraq, living in a hotel in the green zone protected by 100,000 troops and a wall of concrete and steel to promote most important positions in the government remain to be filled.

Those of interior and defense all the other departments in government have been filled by Allah, and he's too busy to do it all. It seems more discussion will take place before another couple of religious nutters are selected to fill those positions. So what can Iraqis look forward to now they have a government let's have a look at some of the policies. First of all, a new tax on suicide bombers set to raise money for more pickup trucks plans to invest in America's economy by giving them billions of dollars from oil sales, paying for the rebuilding of the stuff they blew up.

Every child in the country set to get a crash course in capitalism, preparing them for a future of exploitation and materialism. More on that story later. In Switzerland, the UN torture Commission have called for America to close the Guantanamo Bay holiday home. They say standards of service and hygiene have fallen below that expected for a hotel with such a reputation of excellence.

Inmates I mean residents recently complained about many aspects of the illegal I mean exclusive prison resort, including the poor quality of hoses shoved down their throats when forced feeding them the lack of proper leisure facilities in their 12 foot steel cages. The massage technique which employs baseball bats to soften areas of muscular tension, and of course the compulsory extended stay option, which many guests say they didn't expect when they were locked away forever.

I mean, booked their holiday. America has responded by saying fuck you. We'll do what we like you Toothless international talking shop. You couldn't stop us invading Iraq or Afghanistan.

What makes you think we'll do anything you want now? All these resolutions about Israel and China they were meaningless to get used to it. When we want you to do something we'll let you know till then shut the fuck up. Go back to Wittering on about Darfur.

Another evil tragedies you can't stop. Remember Bosnia, you are banging on about that for a year as well. Men, women and children were raped and killed. It wasn't till we bombed Serbia to pieces anything got done about it.

You ineffective would be winner people. We are the USA we rock and we rule y'all can suck our dick. Yeah, again, boy motherfuckers yo, USA. In the UK, controversy continues to rage about illegal immigrants, some of whom have been found working in the home office, cleaning the offices of the very people supposed to be tracking them down and deporting them.

As a minister has reported. It's true. There are probably half a million people here without documents. The question is what do we do about that?

They live in fear of a knock on the door and they're exploited by many employers. What we need therefore is a sensible approach which does not criminalize those good men and women. You can't deport half a million workers who would clean who would cook who would pick our fields. Let's face it, we want to keep on exploiting people wherever they come from.

Immigrants should be able to come to Britain to be exploited without fear of arrest or deportation. Rant rant slobber, slobber, long lived slavery. I mean capitalism. God save the Queen and our fascist regime.

Give her give her give her give her our business report tonight, exploitation of people for money continues to grow in sport football set to become more interesting in your life. And now the weather. Fish stocks in international waters are being plundered to the point of extinction of leading conservation group has said illegal fishing and bottom trawling in deep waters are to blame according to a report from the WWF research shows that bottom drawing is responsible for some deep sea coral reefs losing 95% of their cut.

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