FKN NEWZ·FKN NEWZ · 2007-05-25 · FKN NEWZ 05 25 07·● ON AIR
ERA · IRAQ SURGEtopics:warreligion
FKN Newz · 2007-05-25 · 7:03

FKN Newz 05 25 07

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Episode description

More WAR Debt slavery for USA Money no object for dead americans. Muqutada el sada plays come bak gig after sell out Iranian tour radical ...chchch. In the UK God accused of child abuse and sweeping facts under the carpet.
circuscomedydeekfantasticusfkinfknfuckingfukinjacksonnewsnewzsatirevydi

Top quotes

“No more war dead slavery for USA money no object for dead Americans.”
“What can LSAT up please come back gig after Salah rhenium tour radical chicken chicken chicken in the UK God's accused of child abuse and sweeping the cracks under the carpet.”
“Think of the money we could save sock 100 billion there's only 6.5 billion on the fucking planet we could kill them all and have change who's running this fucking war?”
“Yeah, with her loyal robots are to rob you and CIA p on you.”
“The Evil Empire fought back though, and soon dark Sudan was put in power with the help of CIA p on you.”

Transcript

Auto-generated by otter.ai. Errors expected. Reformatted for readability — original .txt download below.

No more war dead slavery for USA money no object for dead Americans. What can LSAT up please come back gig after Salah rhenium tour radical chicken chicken chicken in the UK God's accused of child abuse and sweeping the cracks under the carpet. Welcome to the fucking news. I'm Fitzmorris.

Here are the top stories tonight. In America, Congress has approved a war funding bill allocating $100 billion of new funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The money is linked to benchmarks for the Iraqi Government like the progress of oil over the country, stuff like that. President Bush praised the bill by not saying money is no object for dead Americans.

We've spent $428 billion already on this war and killed 3438 Americans. That's a per death cost of $124 million. That represents very good return to the taxpayer. If anybody doesn't think a dead American is worth $124 billion.

I'd like to shut them up. I mean, meet them. Seriously though, war is an expensive business and our troops need more money to carry out their effective surge against the entire populations of two countries. Our military leaders have assured me the task of bringing peace freedom, democracy and security to Iraq and Afghanistan Iraqi back can only be accomplished by lots of expensive killing equipment purchased from Halliburton.

or some other company I have shares in a crazed non existent Democratic Representative called for the death of all Iraqis as a way of saving money and shortening the war. He didn't say there's only 20 million of them even at $1 A bullet we could kill them all for 20 million. Think of the money we could save sock 100 billion there's only 6.5 billion on the fucking planet we could kill them all and have change who's running this fucking war?

Come on. If you're an Iraq war virgin and have never watched any of the original blockbusting Iraq wars movies. Here's a look at the epic story spanning three presidents a father a son and evil empire and Princess oil. Yeah, with her loyal robots are to rob you and CIA p on you.

A long time ago in a galaxy far away. Well, 1917 Actually, the country of Iraq was created out of thin air by the British Empire. There followed many years of military rule killing, abuse, torture and the kidnap of Princess oil young by the British until 1968 When a brave Republic overthrew the hated King put in place by the evil empire. The Evil Empire fought back though, and soon dark Sudan was put in power with the help of CIA p on you.

Soon princes oil was in the clutches of the United States of evil until Darth threatened to trade his country's oil in euros. I mean, go it's a load dark across to the dark side and Bush why Walker hands Rumsfeld and chew Cheney have to go into the Deathstar to rescue Princess oil up. There follows a series of poorly thought out sequels to milk and franchise including the fake menace return to the jihad and attack of the loads.

More on that story later. In Iraq radical shift Muqtada Al Sadr has returned to Iraq after a semi tour to Iraq. In the combat gig at Friday, prayers look tighter sang some of his best known hits to a rapturous audience, including his number one Smash, get the American troops out, and the classic album trek we will blow ourselves up to kill you. After the gig Moqtada gave this exclusive interview to Sky News.

I'd like to thank the Americans for making a mess of this country, you know understood and rational secular views of the universe, life and everything were tolerated and religious crazy people with irrational mumbo jumbo who beliefs like me were objects of ridicule and amusement. Now that you have stirred up a whole Christian, Muslim Jew thing, religious people everywhere are spiking their rubbish and inciting vulnerable idiots to die for fake reasons.

Oh, and we have suicide bombers as well. Since the war, most sane people have left Iraq scientists, teachers, astronomers, they'll fuck off somewhere with less crazy people. Now we can say it's all supernatural beings and everlasting life and nobody disagrees. Past the ammunition a spokesperson for the inept, ineffective cowering in the green zone.

And that's not very safe. Government of Iraq didn't say if we or any of our security forces were able to do anything about you from the relative safety of the green zone, we would so watch out and be careful that we don't gain control of the country now that we have 220,000 American troops instead of just 190,000. In the UK, the Church of England has launched a review of how God and religion abused many vulnerable children and their parents for 1000s of years.

Survivors have spoken of the rape of their minds of the abuse of their intelligence. know people have been jailed since April this year for the crimes dating back hundreds, if not 1000s of years. In many cases, the church was alerted to facts and knowledge disputing the existence of God, heaven or hell, or supernatural beings of any kind. In fact, God has been ruled as an impossible breach of the laws of physics, therefore utterly bogus and totally nonsense.

Many facts have now come to light about the nature of the universe and the creation of life. And as yet not one of them supports any magic miracles, hocus pocus or voodoo of any kind. One abuse survivor didn't tell us the church never told her about any of these facts, or informed her about any rational knowledge and the age of reason at all. Instead, she was told to forgive her abuser.

She said, at that stage, I felt I had to please people, I would believe what people wanted me to. I tried to pretend that God existed but much later, my intelligence was eating away at me. Why no dinosaurs in the Bible. my abuser used to say I must think about such things, and bad things would happen if I did. The church just reinforced that idea by not acting on what was known.

In an imaginary statement by churches everywhere the church said we could not act on these facts because we're lying, corrupt, brainwashing, evil fuckers. And we enjoy lives of wealth, privilege and importance because of the superstitious wacky beliefs of poorly informed suckers like this woman. Banks and now the weather. Use of the word carbon footprint and offset are beginning to sweep over every aspect of our lives, lies and propaganda about nuclear power saving the planet continue to pollute the northern hemisphere, and the outlook for bogus tax raising looks very good.

Have a nice weekend.

Analysis essay

This episode tracks several late-May 2007 stories: Congress passing roughly $100 billion in Iraq and Afghanistan war funding after Democrats abandoned a binding withdrawal timetable, Muqtada al-Sadr’s return to public view in Iraq, and continuing religious-abuse scandals in Britain and elsewhere. The war bill included Iraqi “benchmarks,” especially around political reconciliation and oil legislation, which Deek interprets as the real point: not democracy, but control of “Princess Oil.” The running tally of American dead and dollars spent turns official sacrifice into obscene accounting.

The parody is built around genre collision. Bush becomes a corporate accountant calculating the per-death cost of Americans, while Iraq is retold as a Star Wars saga: British imperial creation, CIA manipulation, Saddam as “Darth,” and Bush, Rumsfeld, and Cheney as idiots rescuing Princess Oil. This lets Deek compress the whole twentieth-century history of Iraq into pop-culture farce. Muqtada al-Sadr is mocked as a rock star on tour, singing “get the American troops out,” which skewers both Western media’s celebrity treatment of militants and the real political vacuum the occupation created.

Recurring FKN themes dominate: war as business, oil as motive, empire as franchise, and democracy as stage dressing for resource theft. The phrase “money is no object for dead Americans” catches his view that even American soldiers are expendable inputs in a larger machine. The religion/child-abuse thread extends his anti-clericalism: churches claim moral authority while hiding harm. Across the episode, institutions that present themselves as protectors — Congress, armies, clerics, liberators — are shown as predators, accountants, or franchise managers. Iraq is not a mistake in this worldview; it is the system working as designed.