FKN Newz 2008-05-08

Unknown Speaker 00:00 shadowy puppet masters laughed in our face and split on our graves Buddha religious nutters locked in eternal struggle for possession of our non existence souls. Wealthy power mongers not worried by pathetic efforts at democracy and freedom. Hello temporary life forms.

Welcome to the fucking news. I'm moving to Montana. Here are tonight's headlines. Many people believe the real power on Earth lies not with elected governments and people's representatives.

But with super rich, unelected, mysterious and unaccountable family dynasties. Oh, say the royal family of the United Kingdom or the Saudi Arabian royal family, the wealthy banking clams on the Rockefellers, Rothschilds, the Pope, the Vatican. Mafia etc to name but most of them these wealthy people it is claimed exerts disproportionate influence over world affairs, the economy, the media, our governments, schools, cultural institutions, children's cartoons, the weather, air travel, space travel.

religion, astronomy, fashion, music, sport business, the outcome of national lotteries and a number of theoretical dimensions we haven't discovered yet. That being the case we're honored to be joined by one of our shadowy puppet masters, Lord Nathaniel Illuminati Mason Berger, the 57 via interdimensional video link. Hello, Lord broker child, or may I call you, Master? Hey, you may master, it's hard to believe, given your Infinite Wealth and undeniable influence that you're not pulling a few strings here and there on planet Earth at the moment.

Is there any truth in these wacky conspiracy theories? It's all true. You exist only to serve us. We own you, you are our cattle, your lives are insignificant and irrelevant.

We allow you to live only insofar as it suits our purposes. And when it doesn't, we will dispose of you like rubbing out doodles. Your lives are ours to give or take away as we choose. I see.

Oh, so will there be any truth in the room of the many of us will soon be killed in a nuclear war, and the ones who are left will be microchipped. So your rule over us is more absolute and more convenient. Ah ha, wasn't ended nonsense. We already control you completely with alcohol, Sports TV and take away food.

Why would we make our lives more complicated with all that Unknown Speaker 02:28 microchip rubbish. None of you are going anywhere.

We don't want you to ask for population reduction. It's an attractive idea. So much the better for us if you all starve to death. Unknown Speaker 02:40

While we blame it on the economy, the prolonged suffering of millions gives me such a Stiffy. I can hardly wait for the next meeting in the inner circle, when we'll all be getting off on the misery of your squalid little lives. No, ha ha ha. You're very welcome, Master.

One last question. How do you cope with all the protests and calls to expose you and your shadowy rule, the opposition to us is ineffective and poorly organized. They throw rocks at the police make websites and videos with the Great Pyramid and some snappy rock music. Like that's going to change anything.

We Own Your Money, Your police, your armies, the very ground beneath your feet. Don't waste your time trying to fight us, Your death will simply be longer and more painful. Thank you, Master. And if any of you have any questions for our shadowy rulers, you can post them on our forum at news net seven.com.

In our news, various irrational belief systems called religions are battling it out on earth for the non existent souls of human beings and or other living beings or inanimate objects. If you're a Buddhist or practitioner of Shinto. Representatives of these wacky groups have persuaded many people to join them and you believe are springing up in all areas of society and culture, giving credence to that old saying there's one born every minute.

Many of these cults or religions offer fantastic benefits and rewards for believing their fantasies. I mean stories, stories about creation, life after death and how to be good while here on Earth. The result is a never ending argument frequently escalating into violence and war. We spoke to although Monday May leader of one of these cults to ask him some challenging questions.

Hello or no no? Can you hear me? Hello moving through Montana, or don't know there are so many different religions on earth? It seems obvious they can all be true.

Is your religion be one true religion or Yes, obviously is the only one true religion. We are God's chosen people and all other beliefs are false and baseless. However, we must respect all religion and all people must have the right to believe whatever bizarre rubbish they like. With respect or Dominos But that sounds like complete nonsense.

If you are the only true religion How can you have any respect for any other belief? Either you have unwavering confidence in your own beliefs, in which case all the others are fake nonsense, bollocks or you know your beliefs and all other supernatural beliefs are total rubbish and you simply wish to support each other's business plans by claiming that religion should be respected. Surely you can't have it both ways.

Oh, yes, we can. If people choose to indulge in baseless fantasies about life after death and magical Uber beings watching over them, boo, I am Who have I told you to stop them from giving me money. I mean, believing it. Our church of voodoo has existed for 1000s of years and many people like me have made lots of money, done lots of good for the community because of it. unbelievers are evil for they have not divested themselves of their intelligence or money to support fraud in their community.

I mean, the church in their community. The rights to believe a ridiculous theory proposed by charlatans and con men should be fundamental for the sheep we please I mean, the flocks we serve, thank you or don't on Monday. In a related story, Deborah Jean Palfrey referred to as the DC madam was found hanged in a shed next to her mother's house in Florida. The US woman recently convicted for her role as head of Washington, DC escort agency has committed suicide.

Police did not say mess bow free often spoke suicide, usually preceded by the words, they will make it look like I committed. She was convicted on 15th of April of running prostitution ring money laundering mail fraud, threatening to expose our government as a corrupt cabal of neo Nazi sadomasochism, who enjoyed kinky sex and rubber fun at the taxpayers expense. Many people in America have claimed Ms.

Palfrey was murdered to cover this up. And her alleged suicide is an insult to the intelligence of anyone with two brain cells, and an assault on the rule of law and perception of freedom and democracy. We put these points to a spokesperson for the government and they died laughing. We were subsequently charged with making ridiculous statements likely to cause death by laughing and indeed many other people have since left themselves to death or are still suffering from fitsum uncontrollable laughter at the thought that this is a free world people's rights are respected and democracy ensures fair government for all.

Unknown Speaker 07:37 is a bit daft, isn't it? Oh, freedom and democracy. It's quite funny really, isn't it?

I put that you want but the fact it's unfuck is freedom. Oh Ha ha ha ba