FKN Newz 2008-06-13

Unknown Speaker 00:00 Life discovered on planet Earth in unfashionable Milky Way solar system. invasion plans for Earth revealed by greedy commercial interests, earthlings true ugly and stupid to live say scientific study by us. Hello people of Planet X. Unknown Speaker 00:17

Welcome to the fucking news. Unknown Speaker 00:19 I'm extra terrestrial. Here are tonight's headlines, a deep space probe to your anus, overshot its target and discovered life on planet Earth.

So say astronomers from the Institute have not been superstitious traps who believe any old mumbo jumbo but establish the truth through scientific understanding. The discovery was made some time ago, but was kept secret so as to verify the findings maintain the government's position as supreme overlords and give our various religious brethren and sisters time to prepare plausible bullshit about how it fits in with their Buddhu monsters.

Planet Earth. For next law is the third planet from its star called the sun. It's referred to by humans the dominant species as the Earth, planet Earth, the world, Terra, and better than nothing, I suppose. Earth is home to millions of species including humans, and is the only other place in the universe where life is known to exist.

Scientific evidence indicates that the planet for 4.5 billion years ago and life appeared on its surface within a billion years. The Earth's magnetic field blocks harmful radiation emitting light on the surface. About 71% of the surface is covered in oceans of liquid water necessary for all known life. Earth interacts with other objects in outer space, including the sun and the moon are only natural satellite.

The moon began orbiting about 4.5 billion years ago and provides ocean tides stabilizes the axial tilt and gradually slows the planets rotation. There are approximately 6,671,226,000 human inhabitants, but it is estimated that only 1/8 of the surface of Earth is suitable for them to live on. The future of the planet is closely tied to that hold their son. As a result of the steady accumulation of helium ash at the Sun's core.

The stars luminosity will slowly increase luminosity increasing by 10% over the next billion years, and climate models indicate the rise in radiation reaching Earth is likely to have dire consequences, including the loss of the planet's oceans. The importance of the discovery of water and life on another planet cannot be overstated. For millennia, we've believed we on Planet X were God's chosen people that our planet was the center of the universe slowly.

as the ruthless grip of voodoo nonsense was loosened by grave members of institutions of not being superstitious to x will believe any old mumbo jumbo reality prevails, we learned we are a tiny part of a vast work of nature. We reached out to the stars for knowledge and illumination, and we searched for other life. Now Unknown Speaker 03:16

that search is over. And it's time to kill them and suck their brains out Yes, and take their Unknown Speaker 03:23 planets.

In an exclusive statement to the fucking news. Our supreme military leader, Lord suck the brains from them had this to say about Planet Earth, water and human life forms. Unknown Speaker 03:35 That is our promised land.

It says so in the great big book of voodoo that you do. God wants us to go to planet earth, kill all the puny human life forms, slaughter them, then women and children yay, even their beasts, cats and houseplants until they are no more a stain on the Lord's wondrous creation. I will be leading the invasion fleet and the glorious mission of discovery to Earth Marcel. We will take with us the book of voodoo and such only man as unnecessary to give a thin veneer of plausibility to our military conquest, subjugation and exploitation of resources.

The dominant species will be easy to vanquish they have poor technology, and are divided into many small regions across the planet called countries. These cuts these countries spend much of their time fighting each other and arguing about different kinds of voodoo. Those who accept our god of the mumbo jumbo will be spared while we need them as slaves in our economy, but later we have suck their brains out as well.

Wow. Yeah, so people on next, give praise tonight for the Lord has shown us the way to what you promised Now, once we established a colony, the goals will be open to the pilgrim who took the time of the hungry and the huddled masses, at least. until we stabilize the economy and labor rates reach equilibrium with resource values on the DAX 500. God bless us, God save us, God protect us and God be with us as we use the concept of divine spirituality to justify interstellar lying, stealing, killing and financial gain a ban.

Unknown Speaker 05:34 The information available about the humans on Earth suggests they are an ugly and very stupid species who don't deserve Earth and its huge oceans of usable water. Humans or human beings are bipedal, they have highly developed brains capable of abstract reasoning, language, introspection, and emotional activity. Loose mental capability combined with an erect body carriage that frees the four limbs for manipulating objects has allowed humans to make far greater use of tools than any other species on Earth.

Humans now inhabit every continent on Earth, and they have a continuous presence in low Earth orbit, with a few of them floating around in a tin bucket. Humans create complex social structures, composed of many cooperating and competing groups, from families to nations, our scientists believe humans to be inferior to us in every way, and therefore there is no moral problem with killing them and taking their planet.

It's not like they were looking after it or enjoying it anyway. Humans are so stupid, they knowingly piss and shit into their own water supply. And they have recently begun irradiating their planet with a succession of primitive nuclear explosions and the accumulation of nuclear waste from the process of making their ball and they use nuclear power to generate electricity, even though they have oceans of water and enough solar power to light up the mood.

Yes, they really are that stupid. Human society is based upon the control of imaginary credit by a small group of powerful bankers, bankers. Real money like you or I would understand silver gold, platinum, any of the rare metal elements has been banned by the bankers so as to maintain their control of the planet and its resources. However, most humans are too stupid to understand the importance of that, and humbly submit to the use of pieces of paper as credit for believing these to be a value.

They live in a state of delusional slavery. They will be easy to rule they are weak, foolish, and most of them are ignorant of the stars or real knowledge. It will be funny to see them cowering in fear for their lives offering to pay for their safety with pieces of paper. Thanks, and now the weather.

Alien hordes sweeping down from millions of miles outside your solar system, massive loss of life and depression by new overlords, with survivors forced into economic slavery and made to believe in the one true God of the universe of mumbo jumbo. Later in the week. A chance have some sunshine. Have a nice weekend.