FKN Newz 2006-01-20
Top quotes
“Osama bin Laden tape, is it a fake or just a fraud?”
“An analyst from the CIA says no one significant died in the attack, except for some Islamic children who would probably have grown up to be terrorists or suicide bombers.”
“I've been working on it with the CIA's top producers the single I'm so bad you can't be free is available as a download only from the CIA website.”
“Can't we show it the way back to the sea?”
Transcript
Hello, good evening and welcome. My name is slightly true. Here are the headlines tonight. No one significant dies in US missile strike on Pakistan.
Osama bin Laden tape, is it a fake or just a fraud? Suicide whale penetrates London security group Google lawsuit and privacy to wank sport set to become more interesting. In Pakistan, a botched attempt to kill al Qaeda members has killed 18 people, among them 10 women and children. An analyst from the CIA says no one significant died in the attack, except for some Islamic children who would probably have grown up to be terrorists or suicide bombers.
Anyway, the policy of bombing innocent civilians will go on as long as Al Qaeda and its evil members continue their evil doings doing evil and threatening to do evil evil. You know, slobber slobber? Think Twitch Twitch, President Musharraf, the unelected military dictator of Pakistan who took power by force and has protested to the US saying it's hard to help in the war against terror when America behaves like a murdering Nazi fascist psychopath.
and can I have some more money if I don't make too much plus, In a related story, Osama bin Laden and his new release I'm going to kill Americans has gone straight to number one in the propaganda chars in an exclusive interview with vide or Samer says. this is some of my best stuff. I've been working on it with the CIA's top producers the single I'm so bad you can't be free is available as a download only from the CIA website.
But there are plans for a limited edition seven inch picture disc, featuring of Samer and his followers feasting on the entrails of baby Americans. The recording was made under a veil of secrecy and rushed out this week seen by some analysts as a response to al Qaeda his latest single killing children and stealing oil which was racing up the charts. And now a charming story of news organizations feeding you a load of bullshit about an animal to cover up what's really going on.
In London, a suicide whale has amazed onlookers by swimming and living in water. Most of the time we're quite happy to slaughter beasts where their skins not give a fuck. On this occasion where to believe all the poor whale What a shame or can someone save its life all restore its health? Can't we show it the way back to the sea?
So Japanese or Scandinavian whalers can stab it to death, slice it up and eat it raw. The Online Search Engine Google is the subject of a lawsuit by the US Federal Government. It wants all the data on people who search for pornography handed over to them that would of course be everyone on the planet. Seems America hates sex and loves war and in the name of protecting our children from abuse.
They want every bumped it and Fanny search handed over. It seems the world is full of sad, sick individuals intent and jacking off and enjoying themselves. Instead of blowing something up and depressing a population of an entire country. I'm sure the world will be a much safer place for all of our children, when the only thing you can find online are weapons catalogs and medieval religious beliefs.
Finally, sport is set to become more interesting than ever before. Now, the weather
Themes in this episode
Analysis essay
The January 20 episode is built almost entirely from that week’s real headlines: the CIA’s Damadola strike in Pakistan, aimed at Ayman al-Zawahiri, killed civilians and provoked Pakistani protest; a new Osama bin Laden audiotape had just aired on Al Jazeera threatening attacks on the United States; Google was resisting a U.S. Justice Department subpoena for search data in the Child Online Protection Act fight; and London was briefly obsessed with the northern bottlenose whale swimming up the Thames. Deek folds these together as one news ecosystem: state violence, terror messaging, surveillance, and sentimental animal coverage all competing for airtime.
The parody is especially sharp on official language. “No one significant dies” turns drone-war euphemism into moral confession: civilian deaths are treated as irrelevant unless they are strategically useful bodies. Musharraf is mocked as both U.S. ally and “unelected military dictator,” exposing the hypocrisy of democracy rhetoric. The bin Laden tape becomes a pop single, parodying both jihadist propaganda and the media’s promotional treatment of terror threats. The Thames whale segment skewers Britain’s selective compassion: an animal in London becomes a national melodrama, while routine slaughter, war, and foreign civilian deaths are normalized. Google’s subpoena is framed as Puritan surveillance: America hates sex but loves war.
Recurring FKN themes are everywhere: War on Terror absurdity, CIA manipulation, dead Muslim children treated as acceptable collateral, fake moral panic, and the conversion of news into entertainment product. The “NWO/bankster” material is lighter here, but the deeper pattern remains: governments use fear, sex panic, terrorism, and media distraction to discipline the public while pretending to protect it.