FKN NEWZ·FKN NEWZ · 2007-10-12 · ONE PLANET ONE CREW FKN NEWZ 10 12 07·● ON AIR
ERA · IRAQ SURGE
FKN Newz · 2007-10-12 · 4:45

ONE PLANET ONE CREW FKN NEWZ 10 12 07

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Episode description

Theres only one planet , theres only one crew,
comedudeekfknjacksonnewzoneplanetsatirevydi

Top quotes

“This is a fucking joke, right?”
“Who the fuck do these assholes think they are?”
“If he was an enemy of America, he would be shipped off to secret Eastern European prison, tortured by CIA till he confessed to membership of al Qaeda prior to 911.”
“How dare they want our country back?”
“When the Allies went to so much trouble to get rid of it after the second world get your people into debt with our banking family war?”

Transcript

Auto-generated by otter.ai. Errors expected. Reformatted for readability — original .txt download below.

Unknown Speaker 00:00 Turkey to invade America through the offshore state with the Dalai Lama award undermines Chinese Germany says tyrannical regime in the UK superbug infections not killing enough people say health insurance. Hello complicit masses. Welcome to the fucking news.

I'm more than willing. Here are tonight's headlines. Turkish parliament was given permission for the government to launch military operations into a mare Iraqi in pursuit of Kurdish rebels. Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has not said a good 20 million cutters people who represent the largest ethnic community on earth without a state of its own should all be killed to relieve us of the need to be nice to the Lord.

How dare they want our country back? When the Allies went to so much trouble to get rid of it after the second world get your people into debt with our banking family war? Rebels from the PKK and evil Kurdish terror organization in terms of the destruction of fascist rule, have been using American state of Iraq to launch attacks on our internationally agreed tax franchise. This must stop in response to this unhelpful move.

Or Pentagon spokesperson did not say the glorious homeland of AMR Iraq will be protected with the lives of our glorious debt peasants. Unknown Speaker 01:20 This is a fucking joke, right? Who the fuck do these assholes think they are?

When we want Turkey to invade somewhere? We'll tell them. Don't get me wrong. We couldn't care less about the turrets, but they are helping us occupy a patch of the planet to subjugate landless peasant folks to our rule and exploitation of resources.

So long as we have a use for the turrets in America, Iraq, we will protect them and the land we let them live on long lived the Fourth Reich I mean the New World Order, marry Iraqi. our glorious fatherland I mean homeland in a related story Condoleezza Rice major seventh visit to the Middle East recently to announce a greater effort by America for Middle East peace. Accused of simple photo opportunism, the Condoleezza didn't say,

Unknown Speaker 02:09 we have better things to do and fly around the world now than vaguely constructive things about peace. We've got countries to bomb people to kill and torture regimes to change economic blackmail and extortion to manage Russians to threaten and more debt to get into with Saudi Arabia. Unknown Speaker 02:28

More on that story later, China has stepped up a row with us over its decision to award the Dalai Lama, one of its highest honors. The US has greatly undermined ties with Beijing by giving him the Congressional Gold Medal said an evil Chinese party official going on not to say How dare our attorney be questioned by anybody. That Dalai Lama is lucky we let him live at all. Nevermind it exiled.

If he was an enemy of America, he would be shipped off to secret Eastern European prison, tortured by CIA till he confessed to membership of al Qaeda prior to 911. And baling anthrax to the President. So what we invaded his country killed millions of people destroyed 1000s of years of culture, raped or artificially inseminated The Women of Tibet and murdered anyone who dissented. What the UK as long as your iPods and laptops are inexpensive ha.

You can't have it all. You know, how do you think we make all your plastic chips so cheap? For you dumb fucks make us live long time. Oh, oh please China, or please China treat your economic slaves blithely, slightly better, so we can feel okay about buying lots of shit we don't need from you.

Oh please China allow a little freedom of something or other in the biggest unelected dictatorship on the planet. Some of us in Hollywood have trouble reconciling our decadent lifestyles made possible by the slavery and oppression of a billion people are. In a related story Congress in America is investigating whether Yahoo did anything wrong by handing over emails and computer logs of a Chinese dissident to the unelected tyrants of China, leading to the arrest and imprisonment of the democracy protester.

A spokesperson for Yahoo did not say who cares about the evil government of China due to its slaves? I mean, people as long as we're making money, am I right? Or am I right? In the UK, superbugs C difficile and MRSA are killing an increasing number of hospital patients new figures revealed today.

In one hospital in England, 90 patients died in a short period this year. A spokesperson for private health insurance did not say pay these are very good figures for our shareholders. If there is a rise in deaths at NHS hospitals, many people will feel they need private medical insurance to avoid the filthy inefficient, badly run underfunded public services. Oh yes.

Last two years of publicly funded health provision available free to all At the point of delivery, we need public confidence to collapse before we'll see a significant rise in profits. As such, we welcome the growing number of deaths and look forward to rising infection rates. Only when insurance companies and pharmaceutical corporations have a grip on the nation's health service. Can profiteering really begin.

Until then we'll have to make do with siphoning off taxpayers money with internationally agreed patent laws allowing us to charge whatever we want for drugs that cost us pennies to manufacture. Yes, the future looks good. millions of poor scared taxpayers desperate to live slightly longer and willing to pay through the nose to do so. Oh, yes. All those years religion was peddling an afterlife and making a myth from delusional halfwits, we've been missing out, but now we've got the right products and the population just begging to stave off death at any cost.

So come on down to the private medical insurance. We've gotten equipment that works people who know how to use it, doctors with time to listen and cleaners who get paid more than the government says we have to PA In response, the government of the UK did not release this statement. And that's all very well for the middle classes, but you poor fuckers will still have to fund the National Health Service.

Not everyone can afford to be looked after old people need dirty hospitals to die in. And we don't want poor people's diseases spreading all over the place. So keep paying your taxes for a crap Health Service, which recently wasted 12 billion on a computer system that doesn't work. A health service that pays doctors quarter of a million pounds to be rubbish nurses next to nothing to do all the work and cleaners the minimum wage so they can get the blame for our net tangling of your cash.

Now fuck off, I get my nose back in the trough of corporate lobby cash, allowing further creeping privatization, share ownership and profit from your real health. Thanks and now the weather the planet sparked and so are you. We will all live and die under the tyranny of a few wealthy banking families. Join me next week to see if doing nothing helped.

Have a nice weekend.

Analysis essay

This October 12, 2007 episode is keyed to several real stories from that week: Turkey was threatening cross-border action into northern Iraq against PKK Kurdish militants; Washington was trying to restrain Ankara because Iraq was already an American occupation zone; Condoleezza Rice was back in the Middle East talking up peace diplomacy; China was furious that the United States planned to honor the Dalai Lama with the Congressional Gold Medal; and Britain was arguing over NHS “superbug” infections such as MRSA and C. difficile. The UK health story was especially live: reports tied hospital overcrowding and bed cuts to rising infection danger. 

Deek’s parody turns diplomatic news into a grotesque imperial board game. “A-mare-Iraq” makes Iraq sound like an American franchise-state, while Turkey, the Kurds, Baghdad and Washington are reduced to rival managers of “internationally agreed tax franchise” territory. The fake Pentagon voice exposes the absurdity of sovereignty under occupation: America condemns invasions only when it has not authorized them. Condoleezza Rice is mocked as a photo-op diplomat whose peace language exists beside bombing, torture, regime change and Saudi debt. China’s anger over the Dalai Lama lets Deek attack both Chinese authoritarianism and Western consumer hypocrisy: Tibet can be crushed as long as iPods and laptops stay cheap.

The recurring FKN architecture is fully present: New World Order, Fourth Reich slips, banking-family debt, “landless peasant” masses, and the idea that nations are fake legal wrappers around resource extraction. His target is not simply Turkey, China, America or Britain, but the shared logic beneath them: imperial borders, branded diplomacy, cheap consumer goods, outsourced repression, and populations trained to accept it all as normal news.